Forever will have to wait
by SophiaCollins
Summary: Jared has issues with the idea of imprinting until he meets Kaylee, but Kaylee met Paul first and fell for him. What happens when Paul shifts will he imprint on her too? What will they do when they learn Kaylee's shocking and tragic secret. Jared/OC/Paul
1. Ch 1 New in town

**A/N S. Meyer owns most of these characters, but I own Kaylee and her family. **

Ch. 1 New in town

**Jared's POV**

It had only been a few weeks since I first shifted. To say that it came as a shock would be an understatement, my mind was blown wide open to all the possibilities. I had no idea that there was such thing as a werewolf, or I guess as Sam would call us _shape shifters_. I was the first one other than Sam himself to change. It was weird being a wolf. Being able to hear each other's thoughts was unnerving.

I think Sam was grateful to finally have some company but I could also see that he would not wish this life on anyone.

Right now I was lying in my bed that had seemed to have shrunk since the last couple of weeks. But in reality the truth is I had just grown. I had gain about eighty pounds of muscle and about six inches in height. Which says a lot saying before this I was about six foot two, and now I'm a towering six foot eight. You could call me a giant that would not be understating it a bit.

I heard a howl and knew that I had to meet Sam at Emily's place. Sam had explained the rules of our two people pack as well as he could sense no one has been in a _pack_ for generations. He told me that we would run the border he told me that the infamous Cullen's were _the cold ones _or aka vampires. We had made a treaty with them and they could not come on our land and we could not go on there's.

I asked Sam if there were no other vampires then why should we run the border especially if the Cullen's swore they did not hunt humans. How that worked I don't really know but I also could care less. Sam had told me that it was our job to protect the tribe and its people. Whatever is all I could say I mean I don't mind watching out for our people and I happen to enjoy being a wolf, but it just made me feel like I was missing out on something?

What was even weirder was not that fact that I turn into a giant wolf or that I could hear Sam's thoughts while in said wolf form. What I really thought was strange was when Sam explained to me about imprinting.

He told me that is what happened to Emily and him. I did not want the sad images of what that did to Leah. Leah and Sam were pretty much perfect together and if you were into the whole La Push gossip chain you would have known that everyone thought they would get married someday soon. I personally was only vaguely curious about why out of the blue Sam broke up with Leah and started dating Emily and know I knew. There was some physic voodoo that will one day break up with the girl I am with and for no reason at all get with said new girl.

At the moment I was not too worried because I didn't have a permanent girlfriend, just a lot of random girls from our school and other reservations that I "hung out" with. Sam said that imprinting didn't happen to all wolves just some and that I most likely didn't have to worry. I was counting on that. I was totally insensitive to girls. I did not want to hurt some girl the way Sam hurt Leah I also did not want some strange voodoo connection with a girl that forced her into liking me.

By now I was in my wolf form a giant medium brown wolf to be exact I heard Sam sigh.

_Jared she will want to love you. You will be perfect for her in every way and she can say no if she wants but she won't want to. _

_ What if I just don't act on it if it happens to me what then?_

_ It will be painful being away from her. It hurts you won't be able to do it. And anyways the odds of you imprinting are slim. _

I let it drop I didn't need him telling me that I wouldn't be able to do it. I let my mind empty I all felt was the ground against my paws all I heard was the wind and the birds, and the nature. What I loved about being a wolf more than anything was simply the fact that I could see everything. Sam said that my sight was better than his which was obvious I could see the lines of the veins that were on a tree thirty feet above us if I focused on it. It was crazy but so very amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

_Jared when you're done with your patrol I need you to head over to the Pond residence and work on their water lines. _

I almost forgot. Sam had a friend who owed the local plumbing shop. It was not my first choice of employment but I needed a job and this was the only one that I knew I could get around with still doing my patrols.

_I,I captain Jack. _

_ It will be late so try to not wake the residence. Mr. Pond will greet you and show you what needs to be fixed. They just moved in. _ He then answered my thoughts almost immediately; _He is here because of personal reasons. I was just told not to ask too many questions. His wife has taken up a short term post as a teacher's aide. They only rented the house so I am sure they will only be passing through. Just make sure you behave._

I attempted to roll my eyes which, was hard seeing that I was still a wolf. I just grumbled and ok not really caring that I couldn't ask questions I wasn't usually nosey. Ok I was but I knew how to hold my muzzle. That got another sigh from Sam.

_Just do your job._ I heard him think _Always the jokester. _

**Kaylee's POV**

We had just finished unpacking for our so called _vacation._ I knew we were here because of me. My parents wanted me to get away from city, from the loud noises, and mostly from people. I mean I wasn't dead, yet.

I sighed and walked to my new room. It was small, not that I minded I actually liked it, it was homey. But it wasn't the room I had spent my whole life in. It wasn't the room my friends and I slept in all the time. It wasn't the room I had to spend days on end in because I was sick. I plunked myself on my bed daydreaming about home. I knew we would be here as long as it took. I hoped that it wouldn't be too long. I was sick of the endless grief and of waiting. It was tiresome.

"Kaylee why don't you go for a walk it would be good for you."

"But the move made me tired. I just want to sleep." This was totally untrue I would love to go for a walk but I did not feel in the mood to get lost, but I just rolled my eyes and grabbed my coat, it was still really cold out and it was still September. "Fine I'll be back for dinner." Then I walked out of our new house.

"Oh and Kay a guy is coming over later tonight to fix the water. The power switches are in your room so he will be in there."

"Alrighty." Then I started walking to the beach. It wasn't a very fair walk a few blocks at the most. I was really hoping not to many people would be there I did not want to talk to people about how I was the new kid on the block. I really didn't want to talk to them because well I wasn't Indian so I felt I was kind of an outsider.

I wouldn't have to deal with them at school because lucky for me one of the perks to being me is that I didn't have to go to school.

I walked to the water which was an odd grey color. It was surprisingly beautiful I was used to the bright blue and sometimes green waters of California but these beaches would do. I took of my shoes and socks and stepped into the water. I was shocked at how cold it was and quickly ran back to the sand.

I heard a chuckle from behind me I looked up and was greeted by about six feet of a gorgeously tan man. "To cold for you?"

"No it was just a shock that's all." He looked at me like he knew I was lying. If he saw how I reacted then yea I guess it was easy to tell. "Yea it was maybe a little colder than I thought." He smirked at me and I timidly smiled in return.

"I'm Paul." He held out his hand for me to shake.

"I'm Kaylee." He shook my hand but didn't let go. I knew I blushed a little.

"What brings you to La Push?" He had gorgeous brown eyes. I stared at them while I answered.

"My family and me we sort of moved here for a bit." I didn't feel the need to go into any more detail but lucky for me he was full of energy.

"So you're the new meat in this place! I heard they had a kid." I winced I was hardly a kid. Even though I was sixteen I could have passed for thirty with everything I have been through.

"Yea that _kid_ would be me." I said the word kid not mean just not nice.

"Aw shorty I didn't mean it like that." He was of course referring to the fact that I was barely five four.

"Anyone would be short to you. You're a beast!" We both laughed he dropped his arm around my shoulders and we were walking down the beach.

"What made you guys move here? It's not really on the top hundred places in Washington to visit." He looked at me with purely curious eyes. I knew my parents hadn't told anyone about my condition other than nice Dr. Carlisle who had taken up my case with open arms. He promised he didn't gossip and that it would stay between my family and him, who I was grateful, I really didn't want people to act differently towards me.

"Well my dad wanted a nice quiet place to take a vacation. So he chose here. He heard it was rich in history. My dad is really into old tribe histories and such." And the fact that he thought that the farther away from normal city life the better. My dad also thought that the sun would somehow harm me. Load of crap if you tell me.

"Uh huh. I find that hard to believe. But I won't pry. So you going to school on the rez then?"

"No, I don't need to go to school anymore. I got my GED over the summer." It was one of the many things I wanted to do before… And one of the only things my parents would let me do.

"Woah are you like older than you look, or are you some sort super genius."

I laughed, "Well that depends on how old do you think I am." I gave him a smile. No one ever guessed my age right.

"I don't know I peg you as a girl you just celebrated her sweet sixteen. Am I right?" I glanced at him in shock.

"Um close. I celebrated my birthday a few months ago but yea I'm sixteen. How did you know?"

"Oh a lucky guess." He then winked. "I follow all the latest gossip in the town, I am pretty up to date." We both laughed again.

"So you are sixteen years old out of high school and taking what a few months' vacation here on a rez? Seems sort of odd if you ask me."

"Well good thing no one asked you."

"Ah you're feisty I like that." He squeezed me closer to him and we continued walking.

"What about you?" I asked

"What about me?" He then pulled me down to sit on a log that surrounded a pit that looked like it just was recently used for a bon fire.

"I don't know. How old are you?" He looked like he was close to twenty but I knew since he didn't flinch at my age he wasn't as old as he looked.

"I turned eighteen a few weeks ago. Big bad senior." He smiled. His smile was so cute. It changed the whole look of his face. He had two very small dimples on both cheeks.

"What are you looking at?" I blushed I hadn't realized that he realized that I was staring.

"You just look like a little kid when you smile it's cute." I said it faintly embarrassed for saying so much. I knew that flirting was wrong but he was just so cute I couldn't help myself. Everyone back home would stay away from me because of my heath but here no one knew. I could be a completely new and free person.

"Sweetie I think you have mistaken I am far more than cute." Then he gave me a smile that would have been scary if his eyes weren't so innocent.

"In that case I am so sorry. Your hotness." Then I laughed and leaped off the log to avoid his tickling hands. I ran all over the beach.

He finally had me pinned on the ground and held my arms in one of his massive hands and said in a surprisingly husky voice, "Now that I have you here I think I will take my revenge on you for mocking my superior looks." I couldn't help but laugh.

Then the worst thing happened right when he was about to kiss me I heard my father shoot across the beach. "Get your hands off my daughter!"

**Kaylee's POV**

"Dad! We were just having fun. You don't need to freak out!" By now I was up and _shielded_ behind my dad. Even though if my dad got into it with Paul we both know Paul would win.

"Sir I promise you I wasn't planning on doing anything disrespectful with your daughter." I was shocked that Paul was taking this well. He seemed like someone who would lose their temper. I knew he was close to losing it by the way he held himself still and he breathed in and out slowly.

"Fine, fine it's just my daughter her has some _special_…"

"DAD!" I glared at him making him stop mid-sentence. He knew how much I hated the way people treat me differently once they found out. He exhaled then looked down at me with grief in his eyes.

"Alright then. Just so you know son, my daughter is more fragile than other girls her age and you are big enough to take me down so I just want to warn you to be extra careful around her." The change in Paul was obvious to say the least. Now that he knew he wasn't going to get in any trouble he seemed more at ease.

"Yea I hear ya sir. She is a short one at that. I know I look um big but I promise I mean her no harm."

"Your age son?"

"Believe it or not I am freshly eighteen." He had his cocky grin on again. We both saw the indecision on my dad's face and how he was seizing him up. After what felt like forever my father finally looked at me and said,

"Well I came down to find you because dinner is ready and you weren't home yet."

I then looked at the sky to realize that it was getting dark out. I suddenly felt bad for making my dad worried. He had enough to worry about when it comes to me I should learn not to be so reckless.

"Okay um I guess we should be going then, I will um see you later Paul. It was nice to meet you."

"Hey wait before you go Kaylee um there will be a bonfire tomorrow night. Most of the La Push kids come and since you're not going to meet them at school maybe you would like to go… I could pick you up and I could introduce you to everyone. It would be fun." And before I could answer he held out his phone and told me to put my number in and he would call me tonight for an answer. I smiled and said goodbye.

The walk home with my dad was beyond awkward. I tried to make small but I could tell he was thinking something over. I let him but I was afraid of what he might be thinking about. I knew I would probably find out during dinner.

**Please Review and tell me what you think. I know there isn't much to go on so far next chapter will be longer.**

**(: Thanks again**


	2. Ch 2 First sightings

Ch. 2 First sighting

**Paul's POV**

I was shocked about how well her dad handled us together. Most dads when seeing me make sure that their daughters were not within fifty miles of me. I think it had to do with the fact that I did not look my age.

I figured that I would not be seeing much more of Kaylee which was a shame because there was something different about her I didn't know quite what it was. I knew that she was hiding something from me about the reason why they moved here, but I felt a little better about it because I felt like she was hiding it from everyone not just me.

Her dad almost spilled the beans it seemed but she shut him up. All he said was that she was fragile more than other girls. But if you asked me she seemed stronger than her dad was getting her credit for.

I was hoping that she would go to the bonfire with me. I didn't want anyone else staring into her bright green eyes that seemed oddly catlike. I wanted to make sure everyone knew that I called dibs on her.

**Kaylee's POV**

My dad and I got home and mom was already putting dinner on the table. She looked at us and I knew we would be talking about this afternoon later. Great.

I sat down across the table as far away from my mom as possible. If my dad was worried about my heath my mom was obsessed with it. There was no way that they would let me go to the bonfire tonight which sucked because it would be nice to go and meet people plus I really wanted to hang out with Paul again.

I scooped myself some noodles and poured sauce all over them. My parents glared at me so I picked up some of the salad and some of the fruits. I went to fill my glass full of milk but my mothers' cough made me groan and I got up and walked to the fridge and opened it and filled my glass full of my _herbal medicine._ My mother had insisted that it might work. I didn't want to argue with her so I drank it every night. To say it tasted well was never going to happen I didn't owe her _that_ much.

I sat down at the table and started shoveling food into my mouth hoping that if I finished fast enough they wouldn't get around to lecturing me.

"Uh-uh Kaylee stop eating for a second we want to have a word with you." I guess while I was getting my _drink_ my dad felt the need to inform my mom on what happened.

"Do we have to." There looks told me that was a yes. "Fine ok I am sorry for talking to him. You are right I shouldn't led him on seeing how I don't know how long…" My mom's intake of breath stopped me in my tracks. I hated how she couldn't talk about it.

"Kay, don't talk like that. It upset your mother." I glared at him.

"It upsets her? Dad! I am the one who has had to live with this her whole life! Am I upset? No, I am at peace with it. When it happens it happens, and let me tell you it _will_ happen. Sooner than you think it will. All I am asking for is some understanding and some freedom. I want to enjoy the time here!" I knew by the shocked looks on their face that they felt sorry for me but still didn't understand. I stormed out of the kitchen and my dad yelled,

"Kays, where do you think you're going?"

I looked at him begging for him to understand, "I need to cool down dad. I am just going to walk on the beach I will be back before midnight…Ok before eleven." He nodded and let me leave. I was grateful that even though my dad didn't understand everything he understood enough to know that I didn't want to spend my life locked up, he understood that I needed to enjoy my life. Even if he didn't really like that.

I was headed out of the doors when my dad's voice stopped me,

"One more thing Kaylee when that nice young man calls tells him that you can go with him to the bonfire. It will be good for you." I stared at him waiting for the punch line, "I'm not joking Kay, you can go I mean it."

I threw my hands around him in a hug, "Thank you, thank you, I mean it dad it means a lot to me." He just smiled and an odd look passed in his eyes but he hid it well. I knew it probably had something to do with the fact that I rather hang out with boys than him. My days with him weren't infinite as they would say.

**Paul's POV**

To say that I didn't want to call Kaylee from the moment she left was lie. I was pacing the beach not far from where Kaylee and I had been wrestling. It had been about an hour and I figured that she might still be eating dinner. But I wanted to hear her voice again. Her voice was like soft chimes of bells. I don't know how she made her voice sound like that but it was music to my eyes _wow Paul getting soft. You barely know the girl._

I shook my head back and forth trying to clear out the sappy thoughts when someone pushed me slightly from behind. Like always my anger got the better of me.

"Watch it will ya!" When I turned around I saw her. Kaylee was just staring at me like she had never seen me before. _Way to go Paul, scaring her is always the way to go._

" Oh I'm sorry I just say you... um s-standing h-here." She stuttered. She looked so sorry I felt so bad. I hated to see her upset with herself.

"Hey don't say that sweets. It was my fault." I grabbed her chin to look at me because she had started looking at her feet. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I have um anger issues sometimes." I laughed because saying sometimes was the understatement of the century. "Do you forgive me shorty?" _say yes please say yes_

"Yea of course, you have to do more than that to get rid of me." She smirked up at me it gave me chills to see that I didn't scare her. Most girls ran away the moment I snapped at them. I liked that she had a back bone.

"So smalls what are you doing here? Missed me that much huh?" She blushed a little then lightly slapped my arm.

"Yea you and your ego are hard to not miss." I laughed at that. "I just needed some air my parents get a little…much sometimes." She seemed to have a hard time picking some word I looked at her hoping she would say more but I could see how her eyes closed off when I asked what happened.

"Nothing my parents are just really controlling. My dad tries to give me space but he likes me within his sight, understandable but annoying." Is all she said.

"Well your sixteen shouldn't they have already got the memo that your growing up and that you need your space?" Her eyes told me this wasn't a subject to pry with. "You don't have to tell me."

"It's not that I don't want to tell you it's just a long story and kind of a damper on the mood. It kills all the joy for a five mile radius." She smiled and said the sentence with ease but once again her eyes gave her away. Fear, pain, and sorrow past through them so fast I wasn't sure that I actually saw them all.

"Alright then, how about I brighten up your mood?" I raised one eyebrow up at her she just giggled. It wasn't an annoying giggle that most girls have it was sweet.

"What do you suggest?" She looked at me with eyes the size of golf balls.

"When's the last time you did anything a little bit reckless?" By the look in her eyes I would say a long time.

"Never" I smiled wickedly she was going to have fun with me.

**Kaylee's POV**

I was currently on my way to the top of the cliff that leaned over the water menacingly. I was holding tightly onto Paul's hand. I didn't want him to know that heights scared me more than death itself but they did.

He walked me over to the edge of the cliff and wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear, "You scared?" I shivered at how husky his voice sounded.

"Should I be?" was all I could say.

"Never with me." I closed my eyes and let how perfectly free I felt at the moment. We stood there with his arms around me for a long time.

Finally I looked up at him and he looked back down at me, "Wanna go for a swim?" His eyes were mischievous.

"Um isn't kinda cold for that?" He just shrugged.

"I'll keep you warm promise." I smiled at him and went to walk back down the cliff to the beach but he wouldn't let me go. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Down to the beach?" I was confused didn't he just say he wanted to go swimming. He laughed when I said that.

"I know a faster way." He took a step closer to the edge and I stared at him in shock.

"No way! We are not jumping! We will be killed! Forget about how cold the water is how about the rocks or, or… SHARKS!" I knew there were no sharks but I couldn't think of another reason.

"Chill babe, people do this all the time, it's called cliff diving. It is perfectly safe. Trust me. I will never let go of you." I knew that was true but I also knew that cliff driving was exactly what the doctor told me to stay away from.

"I can't." I looked down not wanting him to see the resentment in my eyes. Did I really want to go cliff diving. Not really. But would I like the option to choose on my own yea. That is what I missed most, the chance to decide.

Once again Paul's hand found my chin and he brought mu face up and held on until I looked at him. "Why can't you?"

Before I even thought about giving him a chance I said the same thing I told people so they wouldn't start treating me differently, "Because I said no." He took one look into my eyes and whatever he found there it seemed to give him some more motivation.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

I wanted to trust him to treat me the same but I knew he would treat me like the fragile little girl that everyone else saw me as once they knew. "I need you to trust me when I say you will like me better if you didn't know." I could tell he wasn't going to drop it. "Paul," I touched his cheek with my hand, "Please trust me on this, please." He stared once again into my eyes and must have liked what he found there because he exhaled and closed his eyes leaning into my palm that was still placed against his cheek.

"If you say so shorty, but you got to promise that if I prove myself worthy you will tell me one day." I placed my head on his chest and mumbled, "You will eventually find out." I wasn't sure he heard me though.

A couple of more minutes passed with his arms around my waist and mine around his neck I was thinking about how I have never experienced this with anyone before and how I was glad that I was here with him when he whispered to me, "When's your curfew." That shocked me out my day dreams. I pulled out my phone and it was five to eleven. It would take me at least twenty minutes to get home. With most kids that would be fine no big deal for me it meant a sooner death than what was already coming.

"Holy crap! I'm sorry Paul but I have to be home like now." He let me pull away from him but he grabbed my hand instead.

"How much trouble can you actually get in? I mean you were walking the beach not robbing a bank." He smirked at me but I knew something he didn't. My parents thought that being out to long would kill me. Or I should say kill me faster.

"You don't my parents, they are going to flip." I stopped once we got down to the main beach. "I am going to take off. Thank you for keeping me company but I have to go. Oh and by the way be at my house tomorrow before the bonfire. My mom is dying to meet you." I winked at him and walked ok I pretty much high tailed it out of there. I heard him laughing and I was too scared about what my parents were going to do to me to be embarrassed. I knew I would be later though.

I managed to get home only fifteen minutes after I was supposed to, thank to my superior running abilities. Ha. Actually I thanked the repair man who was distracting my parents in the living room. If there was one thing I was good at it was sinking back into my house. I took one last look at the man who stood in my living room just to realize he was walking away. I thought about how much he looked like Paul, the same russet skin, he was about six or seven inches taller and if I thought Paul had muscles he had nothing on our repair man.

I sneaked in through the window in the bathroom. I quickly got into the hall way within being seen. Then I was at my bedroom door. I was trying to figure out if I should just go to bed and have my parents think I was on time, or go speak to them first and tell them my cover story.

I stood there in front of my room contemplating my next move. When a hand jutted out from my room and grabbed me. Another hand carefully went over my mouth so I couldn't scream. I closed my eyes not wanting to see what he was going to do to me.

"Silly girl, I'm not here to hurt you. But I figured you might want to get in here so I can say you were sleeping in your bed when I came in, seeing how you are sneaking in and all.

I opened my eyes and looked into the light brown eyes of this mystery man.

**Jared's POV**

I was looking into the greenest eyes I have ever seen. They were so clear I didn't want to look away. She was staring into my eyes with this confused look on her face. Then I realized I haven't yet told her who I was. I cleared my throat and spoke with far more confidence than I felt,

"I'm Jared." I waited for her to respond but nothing came then I realized I never let go of her mouth. I dropped both of my hands and took a tiny step back, "Sorry" I mumbled.

"Can I ask you what you are doing in my room?" Her voice was surprisingly lively. I looked up at her and she was so tiny. Could not have been taller than five four and weighted maybe hundred and ten pounds, if that. She had a slight wave to her light brown hair, and if you looked close enough there was some red in her hair two. A shock because her mother was blonde and her father had deep black hair that you could easily tell he died to keep the grey away.

"Oh um I'm the repair man, your father said that the fuse box was in your room. I need to turn of the water and other things." I stumbled through my sentence. She was looking at me with this surprised look in her eyes.

"Yea I remember my dad saying something about that. How old are you?" her question took me off guard,

"Fifty two I aged well huh?" she rolled her eyes and then passed in front of me to sit on her bed.

"I bet you're not as old as you look." I wanted to say I bet your older than you look but I held my tongue.

"Well yea I mean if I look twenty five then that's great but I'm not into cougars so it kind of blows trying to get girls my age." _Why did I say that was I trying to tell her I was a man whore? Granted I kind of was but still._

"Once again how old are you?" She was lying down on her bed now rubbing her chest where I would guess her heart would be.

"I'm barely nineteen. And you short stuff." She opened her eyes long enough to glare at me at my joke. _Got it height touchy subject._

"I'm turning seventeen one day."

"Um everyone turns seventeen one day that doesn't really give me an answer." She chuckled

"That is what they all say. I'm sixteen turned it in May." She looked at me waiting I bet for me to stop flirting because she was so young. But I couldn't there was this air of maturity around her. Like she understood the world in a way I never could dream of.

"That's cool. I was fifteen once. Didn't really like it. Actually I hated it." I grimaced at the way my awkward body kept getting more and more awkward.

She surprisingly laughed. "Puberty hit you hard huh?" I looked at her shocked she guess right.

"I guess being the most lanky guy in your school please having enough acne for three guys doesn't get you the ladies, right?" She started laughing and the way she was laughing was contagious it had me laughing right along with her. I couldn't stop.

I heard the approaching footsteps way before she ever could. I jumped off her bed not even realizing I had sat down and quickly walk over two the other end of her room and opened the fuse box and started switching things off. I am guessing she also got the memo about who was about to walk into her room because she got under the covers and picked up some book I had never heard of before and flipped two the middle and did what I would call _no dad I haven't been out all night I promise I was just reading see?_ Face. It was a pretty good one too.

The door opened and I could tell he was relieved to see his daughter in her own bed and I wasn't even looking at him.

"And what time did you get home young lady?"

"Oh about thirty seconds ago I snuck through the bathroom window walking straight into our repair man and pick up this book to act like I have been home this whole time just to fool you." I turned and looked at her, shocked clearly visible on my face. Why did she turn herself in?

"Very funny, I am glad that you got home on time your mother would have had a field day if you got in late. Oh and Mr. Mathews please help yourself to anything in our house while you are here." I nodded in polite agreement. He then walked out.

I turned my stunned gaze unto her. "Does that _always_ happen?" she nodded like it was no big deal. "You are by far the luckiest kid in the world. She looked at me then and the pain my words caused were only visible in her striking eyes.

"Luck has nothing to do with it." Is all she said.

"Care to explain that? I am all ears."

"You get paid by the hour you just want me to talk so you will get more money." I was astonishingly hurt by her assumption but I couldn't figure out why.

"I would never." I said truthfully.

"Let's just say I have different circumstances than many if not most other teens in the world, which means my parents treat me differently. Luck has never played a role. Believe me I have been begging it too but it just bats a blind eye when it comes to me." The last part she said mostly to herself so I didn't respond to it.

"You know you can tell me anything. You can trust me." _Jeese Jared creepier much you don't even know her name._

"I can't tell anyone. It ruins being around me, I know you going to object but please just try to have a little faith when I say I am more fun with my secrets kept to myself." She gave a little timid smile but her eyes were begging, pleading me just to drop it and go with what she was saying. "Please Jared." I lost it there. I would do anything if it made her happy. _Ok that feeling is weird…_

"Alright, you don't have to talk about it. How about while I do my job you tell me your name?" I looked behind by back at her and she gave me a small pink blush it was by far the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. _Ugh was I getting mushy now. Gross._

"Yea sorry my name is Kaylee."

"Hi Kaylee." I smiled _Hi Kaylee you have already been talking to her why did you say hi._ She giggled and said hi back.

"So while I _work_ mind telling me about this "vacation" you and your family are on. Seems like a weird time to take one even if you are already out of high school." I could feel her stare bearing into my back. "Don't worry I'm not a stalker your parents just like to brag about you that's all." I smiled at her over my shoulder, "I understand why." She gave me that little blush again and looked down.

She was about to start talking when I heard her father's footsteps coming down the hall again. I quickly finished up and closed the box and went to open the door that just in a few seconds her dad would be opening.

"All finished in here sir. I will just fix the plumbing in the kitchen then turn everything back on and I will be gone. Should be about twenty minutes."

"Oh Alright then I just came in to give Kaylee her… uh to wish her a good night." I knew he was hiding something but the way he did it made Kaylee groan in embarrassment, it just made me smile. "Thank you again Jared, I know it is late but we needed someone out here tonight to fix it my wife is very picky when it comes to these sort of things."

"No problem. You will learn that people out here in La Push live in different hours than most other people." I smiled and slipped out the door. I would have said goodnight if I knew I wasn't going to be going back into her room to switch everything back on.

I walked out into the kitchen only thinking about her smile, and why I couldn't stop thinking about her smile.

**Hey guys I would really like some reviews please. I would like to know whether or not you like what I have so far,**

**But anyways I hope you liked it next chapter coming soon. (: **


	3. Ch 3 Thoughts and Dreams

Ch.3 Thoughts and Dreams

**Kaylee's POV**

For some strange reason I couldn't get Jared out of my mind. From the way he smiled to how incredibly good looking he was. I just could not for the life of me get him of my mind. Not that I thought it was a bad thing, but I felt silly because there was no way someone like him would ever like a girl like me. Ugh I cannot allow myself to want someone to like me.

I knew the real reason that we moved here. The reason no one would say. But I knew. We moved to this place for "vacation" because my parents wanted a few things to happen. One, they wanted me to say goodbye while I was still here. Which makes since because people were crying like they were never going to see me again, the truth is they probably won't. Also, they wanted me to not have to worry about keeping a fake smile on my face.

And lastly the worst one in my book was that my time of acting normal was gone. I had been sick loads of times like any other kid but I had only a few incidents due to my illness. That wouldn't last though. According to Dr. Cullen he said that within the next few months everything would start to change. He said that it could take longer or it could happen any day, but that it would happen and soon, and to prepare ourselves for that.

I sighed and put down my book. I wanted to stay awake to see our repair man again, but all this thinking about the past and pain and other things was about to make me cry. I had no want for any cute guy to walk into my room and see me about to cry or worse in the act of crying. So I put my book on the floor slipped underneath my covers and the moment my head hit my pillow I was out like a light.

_I was just sitting on my bed like any other night, except I wasn't home anymore. I was in a sense, as in I was in La Push all by myself, no friends around just me on my bed._

_I had this really weird feeling that kept creeping up on me. I couldn't tell what was causing it but I knew it wasn't good. I had a vague feeling that I have felt this before. I bolted straight up from my bed and I ran into the bathroom. I pulled up my too big Green Day t-shirt and I saw what I had been secretly afraid of my whole life._

_Right there on my abdomen was black and blue and purple almost bruise like marks. They started at where my kidney would be located and went all the way up to the right side of my neck. To say that I looked like an alien would not be understating it a bit. _

_I went to touch it than deeply regretted it because all of a sudden the skin started to turn to dust. I started to turn to dust. I was nothing anymore just a pile of dust on the floor of my bathroom._

_My mind was jumbled up I thought I had just turned to some weird sort of ash, but now here I was standing at my own funeral? Yea my own funeral… I was a tad bit spooked. I walked up and down the aisle to see who I recognized. I was shocked at how many people actually showed up. There were my two closest friends, Melina and Sammy. They were holding each other and pure sobbing. They each were still wearing the friendship bracelets we had made when I told them about my sickness. _

_I continued walking down the aisle. I once again froze when I saw Paul in the second to front row. He had a look of complete sadness on his face. Then right in front of him was Jared. I was taken aback for a minute because if Paul looked sad Jared looked like his will to live was taken away from him. It seemed to me that the breathtaking light that I had seen in his eyes had vanished, and was replaced with and endless pit of grief. _

_I wasn't sure how long I stood there staring at Jared and every now and then glancing to take a look at Paul, but it most have been awhile. I think I would have spent the whole time watching them two but just then I heard my dad, "I'm glad she has finally left us." I turned as a jolt of shock was sent into me. My own dad was happy I was gone. I felt my eyes start to get teary and I wanted to run away from there but by the pure sorrow that was written on my mother and fathers face had me frozen in place. _

"_Oh hunny, I know. I am glad she is finally in a better less painful place too." My mother's voice was filled with unshed tears. _

"_Mom its fine I am right here. You don't have to be sad, I can still see you. Mom?" My mom couldn't hear me. I figured I might be a ghost but I still needed her to know that she was right and that I wasn't hurting anymore and that everything was fine. "Mom! I'm right here, Mom!" I kept trying to reach out for her but I could not feel her. My hands kept going right through her like I wasn't real. _

_I turned then, when I heard several gasp within a sea full of mourning people. I saw my body. I looked peaceful if anything. But I also looked young. So the end came soon, I couldn't not have been older than sixteen, so I died before my next birthday good to know._

_I walked closer so I could see what they had dared to put me in. I grimaced when I saw that I was dressed based on what my mother had always wished I would have worn. It was a dress cut just below the knees. I am neither a tom boy nor a girly girl. I like dresses and jeans. So her putting me in a dress was not what I was at all mad about._

_The dress had GIANT PINK FLOWERS all over it. I could picture me right now waking up from my "death" and going to a summer bbq with my boyfriend Ken. I mean I am no Barbie. I waved off the way I was dressed and the matching white high heel sandals she had put me in. _

_I was in the process of just taken everything about my dead body in when some strange man who I assumed worked for the funeral home…that was weird to say…Closed my lid. _

_Everything went blank. My world was no black. I knew I was dead but I could see things before. It was as if the moment they had closed my casket they had condemn me to actually being dead. _

"No! I'm not ready yet! NOO!" My eye jolted open, my breath was coming in short ragged breathes and I was shaking. _I'm fine it was just a dream. Well I nightmare but I'm fine._

I heard my dad coming down the hall. "Sweetie, what's wrong? You have been screaming for the past few minutes. Did you have nightmare?"

I simply shook my head. "I was dead daddy." I hardly ever called my dad, daddy but that nightmare had seemed so real. I was dead…

The look of horror passed over my dad and he wrapped me up in the tightest hug he could have managed. He began to coo things to me like I was a toddler but I didn't mind I needed to hear it to feel like I was alive. I don't really know when I started to cry but I did. My dad just did what all dads would do and he held me and let me get his night shirt all full of salt water and snot. What are dads for right?

After what seemed like forever he pushed me slightly away enough to get a good look at me. He held onto my shoulders and let out a tired sigh, "Are you alright now?"

"Yea it was a really bad dream-uh I mean nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it Kays?" his eyes were so filled with concern that I didn't want to make him worry any more than he already was.

"No I'm fine. Just the boogie man. Thanks you though. I love you dad." He said his "I love you too kiddo" and then we said goodnight and my dad left with a parting kiss on the forehead.

I laid back down feeling a little better now, that my dad had once again come to my aid, and I turned onto my side looked at my clock it said **3:23** I cursed my evil mind for making me wake up this early. I flopped onto my other side and tried to fall back to sleep this time hopefully without dreams.

**Jared's POV**

I was running the borders again tonight while Sam was spending the night with Emily. I was jealous that he was sleeping right now when I was out in the middle of the night running my ass off. I would be more pissed if I could feel the cold but nothing felt cold to me not anymore.

I once again thought of Kaylee. I was lucky that Sam wasn't phased when I was tonight because I was sure that he would have been on my back about thinking about her. He told me not to snoop but I couldn't help it. I didn't mean to but once I took one look at Kaylee's bright green eyes, I had to know everything about her. I hated it. Because I knew what it meant.

I had done the one thing I did not want to do. I had _imprinted_.

My mind kept throwing mental pictures of her at me. I knew she was beautiful. I didn't think anyone could ever be better looking than her but that doesn't mean I want some freaky scifi bullshit making me like her. I just wanted to know if it was me who wanted her so bad or the wolf… That is the part that was killing me. That and how amazing she was.

There was something she was hiding from the rest of the world. Well at least hiding from the people here in La Push. I could tell her parents were hiding it too. I wanted her to trust me with it. _ You barely know the girl, she will never trust you._ Man I hated my thoughts sometimes.

I knew Sam was going to start his patrol in a few hours so I knew I needed to get my thoughts under control. Because he was going to ask me how it went. And to be honest it went just fine other than the fact that I thought I smelt a vampire. It was a smell that I knew Sam had smelt before. So maybe it was one of the golden eyed ones. But I didn't know. I told myself that was the reason I kept circling back around the Pond house just to make sure they were safe. But in all honesty I think I was doing it because from where I was running I could hear her breathing and if I stopped and looked into her window while still hidden in the woods my overly good eyesight let me see and I guess you could say watch her sleep.

I remember that I was disappointed by the she fell asleep before I could say goodnight to her, and I also remember how bad of a creep I had been. I had literally walked into her room and since I could see in the dark I saw how she was sleeping and did I get out a flash light and finish my work. No I stood there with the shut door directly behind me and did what I was currently doing right now. I watched her sleep.

I don't know why I find her so mesmerizing but I do. I knew I had a fairly good reason to be watching her now even if I didn't have a good one then.

I was standing outside her window as a giant light brown wolf because about an hour ago she had woke up screaming about how she wasn't ready to die. I have had enough nightmares to know that hers had been a rough one.

I remember a whine escaping from me when I saw her start uncontrollably crying while her dad held her. I hated the way I wanted to phase back into me and run to her and hold her and how I was jealous of her dad because I wanted to be the one to tell her it was alright and the one to kiss her goodnight. I hated how I felt that way. How dare this one little girl make me feel this way. If I want to love and care for someone else than this bond Kaylee and me share cannot and will not stop me.

Deep down though I knew that if she ever found out about it that maybe just maybe she could change that. That simple thought had me making the pact before I even realized what I was doing.

I told myself, or more like promised myself that I would not make any more contact with this girl. She would go one with her vacation and I would go on with my life.

Sam's words flashed into my mind, "_It will be painful being away from her. It hurts you won't be able to do it"._

Yea well we will see about that. Maybe I was being stubborn because I knew how bad I already was missing her. I could also feel this sense of need and want to always be by her side to love and protect her…

I was not going to have that. I would fight it I had to fight it. I knew that eventually she would go home to California, which her parents told me they lived at before coming her. I knew she would leave and I would be shattered. I also knew that there were dangers of her being with me. They were all too clear with what happened with Sam and Emily.

Pictures of Emily's scarred and damaged face enter my mind. I winced and shied away from them. I might not want to be imprinted but I knew that the want to never hurt Kaylee in anyway was stronger.

I sighed and did the wolf version of shaking my head and continued running the border. I was trying so hard not to think of Kaylee but I couldn't. Everything from how you could only tell how she was truly feeling when you looked into her eyes. All the way to things like how kissable her lips were. _Ugh Jesus Jared turning into a sap all over one girl._

I had to admit it I could think of worse girls to imprint on. I was vaguely happy that it was someone like her. She had dimensions to her, like if I broke down one wall and uncovered that small secret there were just a hundred other walls to take its place. Some people wouldn't want to take the time to break down all those walls but I wanted to.

_But I promised myself I wouldn't._ I was thankful for once that Sam was present because that meant I had to stop thinking about Kaylee. This would hopefully keep me somewhat sane.

_How was the Pond's? _

I needed to word this correctly or he would know that I imprinted. _It was fine. Nice family. Hey have you smelt this before?_ I let my mind fill with the scent of the bloodsucker.

_Yes that was one of the Cullen's. The doctor's scent I am sure of it._ I sighed in relief.

_But what was he doing here_ _on our land? Does this mean he broke the treaty?_ I had so many questions running through my mind. If Sam and I attacked we would not win. Seven against two was hardly a fair fight.

_Don't get carried away Jared. Dr. Carlisle has asked special permission to cross into our land. We would have said no but he talked to old Quil and he agreed that it was what needed to be done. But he assured me that it would only be him until further notice._

I was even more confused now. _What business does he have here? And what do you mean further notice?_

I could see that even Sam did not know everything but he did willingly tell me what he did know, _"Old Quil only said that he had a patient here and that if the condition gets worse he might need to bring someone else with him. No more than two at a time and none of them can come without him being with them."_

I shuddered at the thought of the bloodsuckers being on our land and being that close to our people. _Sam who is he treating?_

I couldn't tell if Sam knew or not. But either way he made no move to share that information with me.

_Your sift is over Jared go home and get some rest. You will start again at two, meet me at Emily's before you start._

_Yes master, I will do you bidding master. _I couldn't help but laugh as I phased back, before I did though I could tell that Sam was rolling his eyes.

_Oh and Jared, when you get to Emily's we are going to talk about Kaylee._

With that statement I phased back and pulled on my cutoffs and ran home. How did he know? 

**Hey I hope you guys liked this chapter. **

**Next will be the bonfire scene, it is going to be intense I promise you**

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	4. Ch 4 Bonfire, Boys, and kisses part one

Ch. 4 Bonfires, boys, and kisses part one

**Kaylee's POV**

I woke up thanking whatever higher being is up there that I didn't have another nightmare. I looked at my clock after I rubbed my eyes a few times I couldn't believe what time it was. **2:30.**I had slept until 2:30? That made me both annoyed and worried. The doctor said that I would be losing my strength and sleeping more.

I knew that both of my parents would be waiting downstairs ready to pounce because of how late I slept and because if I knew my dad and I did he had already unwilling told my mother the reason I was screaming was due to some sort of nightmare about me dying. It was not going to be a good afternoon.

I then grabbed my phone somehow wishing that Melina and Sammy knew my new number so they could text me. But my mom said she wanted me to be independent, or aka alone. So I was shocked to see that I had a text message and it was from Paul.

It read, **"If it is ok with you I will be at your house at seven bonfire starts at seven thirty"**

I smiled with the thought that maybe this day wouldn't suck. I quickly texted back a **"yea that will be fine"** and went downstairs to face my overprotective and most likely worrying parents.

I tried to be as quiet as I could but the house was not all that big. I only managed to avoid them until my stomach started to yell at me to put some food it in. I sighed and gave in. _Dumb stomach, no sweets for you today._

I walked into the kitchen and shifted through the boxes looking for a glass and a plate. It took me awhile and when I finally did locate them it was the ones from when I was a kid, A Barbie cup and a Bambi plate. I was kind of obsessed with Disney when I was younger. Ok so I still love it to this day.

I then realized that even though I now had a plate and a cup I had no idea if there was any food in the house.

"Mom, Dad?" I looked around the house but I did not hear or see them. I looked outside for their car but it wasn't there. I went back into to kitchen. _ Jeese you guys you could have left a note. _ I set my plate down on a piece of paper with writing on it… _Well this is ironic_ I thought to myself.

The note read, _Kaylee going out to get some food for the week. There is bread and peanut butter sitting out next to the stove, There is water outside. Drink lots of water. _

_Love, Mom and dad _

I was thankful that dad had scribbled a little note next to were the food was it said, _The food is still in a box which I put next to the stove its labeled life support (:_

My dad the jokester, I smiled and set down the note. I was grateful that I was finally going to eat, I seemed extra hungry today. I found the bread and peanut butter and made myself a sandwich. Then I once again followed my mother's advice and drank lots of water. I knew that deep down I was drinking so much not because she told me to but because I was afraid of what my sleeping habits were starting to mean.

I could pass it off as I was tired from the move but I knew that saying that would be the easy and less scary thing to say, and I was never one to let my sickness control me.

I ate my breakfast on the back porch just looking out at the gloomy day. The sky was a sad shade of gray. I knew that it would rain today. I was beyond surprised that it didn't rain yesterday but I knew that Washington weather was far from dry.

I woke up to feeling of a drop of water on my head. I took my hand and wiped it off. I looked around and realized that I had fallen asleep after eating. I quickly gathered up my plate and cup and booked it inside. I shut the door and went to the kitchen to put my dishes in the sick.

While I was washing the dishes I looked at the time to realize that it was close to six. _I had fallen asleep for almost three hours. What is wrong with me?_ I knew too well what was wrong.

Just then my parents came into the house, "Kaylee go help your mom with the food." My dad asked me on his way I assumed to turn on the TV. my dad was not a shopper even when it came to something simple like food. I rolled my eyes at him. He could get the cable installed but he couldn't take the dishes out of the boxes, way to have your priorities in order.

"Fine." I grumbled. I didn't mind helping but I needed to start to get ready for the bonfire. I wasn't one of those girls that really cared what she looked like, but I still needed a shower and most of my clothes were still in bags and boxes so it was sure to take me a while to locate anything.

After about twenty minutes of petty talk about the town folks with my mom I ran upstairs. I got a sympathetic look from my dad.

It's not that I don't have fun talking to my mom but if I had to hear one my thing about _I just wish I knew how someone could raise so many kids, _or _Why all the boys feel the need to have their hair so long. _ And then _my_ personal favorite _Why did than man have his shirt off. He was walking around in daylight he should have the common respect to wear a shirt._

I couldn't stop laughing when we ran into him. I didn't know who he was but he was in truth walking around in simple cut off pants without a shirt. I didn't mind because he wasn't bad to look at. I think my mother knows that but was too embarrassed to acknowledge that. I smiled again just thinking about it. I was glad that neither of my parents brought up my bad dream. I wished that maybe they had forgot but I knew that they would get to it in their own time.

I sighed while I was pulling my hair bush through my hair thankful that I had found my blow dryer. My hair was doing this odd puffy thing because of weather. I wanted it to look normal. I wanted it be shiny with a slight wave in it. But right now I had to settle for frizzy with a massive body problem. I thought about straightening it but figured if it was raining _which it was_ then it would be moot point.

I sighed given up on it and just let it fall where it may. I didn't look all that bad just not all that good either. I picked up my black skinny jeans and put them on then I rummaged through the same box I had found my pants in and found the dark grey slouchy top that went with it. I then pulled on my black ankle boots. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was ready for a party not a bonfire in the middle of and Indian Rez.

I pulled off my boots and my pants and my shirt and went looking for something else. After about fifteen minutes of looking I settled for regular skinny jeans with the same boots but a light gold tank top. I then found my baggier black zip up sweat shirt and once again looked myself over.

I looked far more casual but I still hopped that I didn't overdo it. I figured since my outfit still might be too much I would tone down the makeup. I only added a little bit of lip gloss and just some light eyeliner. It's going to be dark anyways no one will notice. _I hope._

I looked at the clock then and realized that Paul would be here in about ten minutes. I stuck my phone in my back pocket of my jeans, shut of my light and ran down stairs to make sure my parents new how to act in front of him.

"Ok mom, again what are you _not_ going to do when Paul knocks on the door?" My mom looked like and eager student waiting for her gold star,

"I am _not_ going to tell him about your um illness, and I will not embarrass you." I smiled at her,

"Good, now dad your turn." I knew my dad was going to be trouble he just grunted and said,

"I know how to operate in this field." My glare made him sigh, "Fine I will also not mention you're um heath and I will not tell him that I have a rifle at the ready." I smiled at him but I knew that he would be the one not to break under my will. I knew that he would say something bad. I was waiting for it.

"I am just so excited that you get to meet all these nice new people, but I do need you to remember dear, you are not a normal sixteen year old. You need to be careful don't drink, don't be too crazy and wild, and don't stay out to late you need your rest."

"Alright mom, and dad before you say it if he tries to kiss or touch me when I don't want him to I will gladly kick him in the balls." I gave my dad the most angelic smile I could master up and he just grimaced and my language of course though it was my mom who commented,

"Boys do not like young ladies with foul mouths." I just rolled my eyes at her and then thank god the doorbell rang.

"I will get it." I gave both of my parents the "_you better behave look"_ and went to answer the door.

**Paul's POV**

It was funny that I was nervous. I don't know why I would be nervous because I have been on so many first dates before but there was something different with Kaylee. _Yea you like her._ Huh maybe I did. I never really liked a girl before. Sure I thought some were cute and funny but Kaylee was interesting. She made me want to get to know her and her secrets. So maybe I did like her. _What's wrong with that?_

I couldn't put my finger on it but I almost felt like there was some huge secret that she was keeping that would make me regret liking her. Oh well, I shrugged.

I knocked on the door really hopping that it would be Kaylee who answered. Parents tend not to like me and her dad already got an eye full of me. To my relief it was Kaylee who answered.

She looked stunning. I had to shake my head a few times even to think. It was almost as if she was glowing. I saw her look down with a little smile on her face and a light pink blush worked its way up her cheeks.

"What are you looking at?"

"You." She looked me in the eye as if questioning me as in why I would be looking at her. "You look beautiful." She started to blush a little deeper, it made her look innocent. _That's because she is._

As she held my hand and walked me into her living room no doubt to meet her parents I thought about how she was innocent. From the little I knew about her I knew that she was fragile that there was something that made her less liking to trust people. I didn't know if it was a past boyfriend who hurt her or something a little more in depth than that. Whatever it was it made me not want to be the usual Paul. It made me want to be better to treat her better than I have treated every other girl in the past. She deserved that much.

"Well hello, you must be Paul. It is very nice to meet you." I shook her mother's hand and then went onto her father who once again looked at me with a warning glance as if warning me to behave myself. I knew I would.

"So you're the one who was on top of my daughter the other night." I gave a small smile,

"Yes sir that was me." Then he let out a small chuckle.

"Well make sure that next time that happens it's not while I'm still alive." I could bet that my face was priceless, I could feel my jaw hanging open. I also saw how Kaylee cringed at what her dad said. I wanted to think it was because she was embarrassed but I had the feeling it was something more, much more than that.

Thank god Kaylee took the conversation somewhere else because I did not know how to respond. We carried on a small conversation with her parents all the while I had a tight grip on her hand. I toke a nice long look at her parents than at Kaylee. She had her mother's wavy hair, but her father's smile. Her green eyes came neither from her father or her mother. Neither did her hair color. I supposed she could have dyed it but I doubted it.

"Now you two remember curfew is at midnight and Kaylee you be careful." He gave her a long looked that she just nodded to. "And Paul I will be watching you." He said it like he meant it and I bet he did.

"Dad we got to go. Bye." She gave him and her mom a quick hug and practically dragged me out of her house. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What is so funny?" she tried to act mad but she just cracked up right along with me.

After we stopped laughing and caught our breath she looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you."

"For what?" I had done nothing for her to say thank you to.

"Well for being so nice and polite to my parents and for you know." She was swinging our hands back and forth. I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed the back of it never breaking eye contact.

"No I do not know. I should be thanking you." She looked confused by that.

"I was just saying thank you for taking me out and letting me met your friends. Why are you saying thank you to me?"

I laughed. "Because you are willing to go with me." She laughed at that just as I had laughed at her. I put my arm around her shoulders. "You ready to meet everyone." I didn't ask it like a question because I wasn't giving her the choice. She simply looked up at me and gave me the dorkiest but sweetest smile in the world.

**Kaylee's POV**

We were walking to the beach his arm draped around my shoulders and I felt like I was swimming in heaven. _So this is what it's like for someone to like me for me and not feel sorry for me._ I shuddered at the thought of what he would say if he found out about my secret. I smiled and pushed those thoughts away for tonight.

Tonight I wasn't Kaylee the fragile sick girl. Tonight I was the person underneath that. I was Kaylee the girl who is fun, who loves life, and who understands that everyday matters. Today I was free. And I would not think about my sickness all night even if it killed me. I was here with one of the hottest guys I have ever met and he was taking me to a party. I was going to have fun.

Paul walked me to where a few boys that were talking to each other. He squeezed my hand and I looked up, "Don't look so scared they don't bite." I gave him a weak smile and he rubbed reassuring circles and the back of my hand.

I'm not really shy but new people tend to ask lots of questions and I don't know what the town knows about me. So it was kind of nerve racking walking into something like that.

"Hey Quil, Embry, Jake, this is Kaylee she's the new girl." I gave them all a small smile. They looked a lot younger than Paul but around my age. Maybe that's why he introduced me to them.

"Hey, so how are you settling in?" The one Paul said was Jake asked. I gave him a shrug which didn't tell too much.

"You can talk can't you?" I glared at I think his name was Embry said. I saw that Paul was about to say something so I spoke up first.

"Yea I can. And to answer your question is I'm settling in fine especially now that I know who the town's three stooges' are." I gave them a warm smile but through daggers at him with my eyes.

"Ha ha I like you already. You will fit right in with a wit like that." Embry had slung his arm over the same shoulders that just minutes before Paul's arm was on. "So am I going to be seeing you at school or am I going to have to make time on the weekends for us?"

I couldn't help but smile, "I think I will have to check my calendar ..."

"But she is all booked up for the moment." I looked at Paul to see that he was glaring at Embry

"Ouch man, ok message received." He then whispered in my ear, "If you ever get bored of him just give me a call." I just smiled at him.

"I think you will have more luck asking your right hand out for a date." Jake and Quil laughed at that but I knew Embry was beyond embarrassed. He looked like he was going to retaliate but then he was being pulled with them towards the fire,

"It was nice to meet you Kaylee and he is right with a wit like that you will be just fine" Jake smiled and walked away.

"You too." I gave him a smile that told him I meant it. So Quil was quiet and Embry was loud but Jake, Jake was nice.

"Don't fall for him." I looked up at Paul and realized that I was watching them.

"Never too young for me. I like my men to actually be men." I winked at him and then wrapped my arms around his waist. He introduced me to several more people but eventually he led me down to the water. We stood there his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest and I was totally content.

"Did I ever tell you how good you look tonight?" It was true he was wearing dark jeans and a dark button up shirt. It was simple but it made him look amazing. He just chuckled at my comment and made no action to reply. "It's true."

He looked me in the eyes and was about to lean down and kiss me, I knew he was, but then I saw him stiffen.

"What's wrong?" I figured he didn't want to kiss me because of maybe my age but he turned around and was literally giving the death glare to someone who was several feet behind us. I looked over his shoulder and blurted out

"That's Jared." I blushed when Jared looked over I guess I said that louder than I thought.

"You know him?" Paul looked down at me.

"Well not really he fixed our plumbing or something yesterday. Are you two friends?" I knew by the look Paul had sent his way again that they weren't but there was more to it than that. I looked back at Jared and he had a look of pure hurt and anger on his face. When he noticed I was looking he covered his face with annoyance, it made me half way mad. He had no right to look at me like that.

"No we are not friends." I started to worry that Paul would do something stupid like run over to Jared and I don't know punch him or something.

I placed my hand on his cheek and turned his face so he would look at me. "Why do you hate him?" I wasn't sure if he was going to respond or not but then he closed his eyes let out a sigh and said rather rushed,

"We used to be best friends and then Sam Uley-" He noticed how I looked confused so he said, "The guy standing next to him, well they started to be friends and then weeks go by and I don't hear anything from him. The next time I see him he was different. He wouldn't talk to me or anything. He just said that maybe one day I would find out."

I realized that Sam was the guy my mom and I had seen earlier with his shirt off, huh.

I knew that it felt terrible to lose a friend and it was a hard thing to go through but I could tell that Jared and Paul used to have a huge bromance that went on, which most likely made it even worse to lose him as a friend.

"Hey, we can leave if you want, not like go home but go for a walk or something ok?" He just shook his head and took my hand that was on his cheek and led me down the beach. I looked back at Jared to notice that not only was he looking at me but I swore I could see him shaking. I just turned at looked back at Paul.

**Jared's POV**

I didn't know why Sam dragged me to this bonfire. I knew that Paul would be there and I was sick of him throwing daggers at me. I do miss him as my friend but soon enough he would join us. I didn't want this for him but I knew it was coming even if Sam wouldn't admit it.

I was hoping that somehow through some odd chance that maybe I would see Kaylee here. Why she would come to a bonfire by herself with no-one she knew I don't know. Maybe I should have invited her. _Yea maybe you should have you idiot. _

I hated the way Sam looked at me know. He was wondering when I would crack and respond to the fact that yes I did imprint on her. I wanted us to meet in our own way. Not because some weird were-wolf thing made us. I sighed as I remembered what Sam told me early today.

"_So you imprinted on the Pond girl." He didn't ask it like a question so I made no move to answer, he just sighed, "You could do worse she is very pretty." For some reason I didn't want him picturing her in his head. He must have seen me cringe,_

"_Yea that will happen when you hear people talking about her or you think people are thinking about her."_

"_What will happen?" I asked even though I knew the answer._

"_The feeling of a mix between wanting to tell the person thinking or talking about her that they had no right to do that because she is yours and the extreme disgust that anyone would even try to think they had a chance. Oh yea jealousy. It might not seem like it's there but trust me it is." He just smirked at me._

_His eyes grew sad, "It's not as bad as you think Jared. I happen to love it." I glared at him. He knew I didn't want this for me or Kaylee._

"_What is holding you back Jared?"_

_I said the first thing that came to mind "What if I hurt her." I saw Sam wince. I knew he hated himself for what he did to Emily. I knew that no matter how many years he lived or how many times Emily said she forgave him he would always hate himself and he would never forgive himself for that._

"_As you know there are certain risks that come with dating one of us and you can't promise her you won't hurt her physical, but there are worse things than that. You _can_ promise her that you will never hurt her emotionally."_

"_What if she doesn't want me?" I knew how hard it was not to think about her now and how I felt vaguely alone without her how would I feel if I had her than she found out about my secret then didn't want me. Why would I even put myself in that place? I knew it would destroy me if she hated me and if I lost her._

_Sam seemed to read my face well enough to know what I was thinking. "She will want you. I am not saying that at first it will be easy because it won't be, because you have to tell her about everything, and it will be even harder for you because she has never heard of the legends of our people befre, but if you do not try the pain will multiply almost daily and it will becoming unbearably hard to stay away from her." He saw I was about to abject, _

"_Jared yes you might be able to stay away from her but you already know that you don't want to. Stop fighting it."_

That was the end of that conversation. The worse thing is that I know he is right. I want to be with her. I want to tell her about me. I want the type of love Sam has with Emily. But for some reason I still felt some sort of mix between scared and annoyed.

Sam and I were standing by each other since most people avoided us and I saw him stiffen just the slightest. I went to ask him what was wrong when I heard her voice,

"That's Jared." I turned towards her voice and I was shocked to see her practically cuddling with Paul. Sam was right jealously was there. There was so much of it that I didn't know what to do or think.

"You know him?" Paul's voice of course was taken aback. I was angry she knew Paul. How did they meet? I knew Paul and what he did to girls he broke their hearts. He was going to destroy my Kaylee. I wanted to walk over there and strangle him and tell him to keep his hands off my girl.

"Well not really he fixed our plumbing or something yesterday. Are you two friends?" I looked at Kaylee to notice she was watching me. I knew that she saw the hurt and then the anger flash across my face but I hide it after a few seconds. Then I was stunned to see that she looked angry.

"No we are not friends." I glanced up again and by the looks of Paul he was about to come over and hit me. _Well the feelings are mutual pal. _

Sam placed his hand on my shoulder which I knew was a warning that I needed to keep my temper in check. He knew how hard this was for me. He understood how much I wanted to go over there and strangle Paul but I couldn't do that. So instead I took a deep breath and looked back at the fire. I tried not to listen to anything they were saying I just filled my head with random noises.

I heard the wind and the water. I heard all the other conversations. That lasted until like always Paul's loud mouthed self, started talking about me none the less.

"We used to be best friends and then Sam Uley the guy standing next to him, well they started to be friends and then weeks go by and I don't hear anything from him. The next time I see him he was different. He wouldn't talk to me or anything. He just said that maybe one day I would find out." Next thing I know I hear that Kaylee told him they could go somewhere else. Away from me.

Thanks Paul now she hates me. I started to shake and I couldn't stop. Paul made her hate me and I was just doing what I had to. She was going somewhere private with Paul. He was going to take advantage of her I know it. I took a few steps to go after them but then Sam grabbed my arm.

"He won't hurt her. You have to let her go. She isn't going to do anything with him but you can't go trying to save her from something that might not happen." He saw that I was still trying to go after her and he gripped my arm tighter.

"She is strong I can tell she is not someone who is going to let him do anything to her. Trust her to do the right thing." That calmed me down a little bit. I was still shaking so I took a few deep breaths then Sam told me to go to the woods and start my patrol early but I had to stay away from them. I had no choice now Alpha's orders and all.

**So this is just part one don't worry (:**

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	5. Ch 5 Bonfire, Boys, and kisses part two

Ch.5 Bonfire, boys, and Kisses part two

**Kaylee's POV**

Paul and I walked up to the edge of the cliff we stood by yesterday. I was still just holding his hand. He seemed to be lost in some sort of thought and I didn't feel right trying to interrupt him. We stood like that for a few minutes until I felt him squeeze my hand and I looked up at him. His eyes were closed for a brief moment then he opened them and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I know I promised you are party and here we are just up here, I mean I shouldn't make you suffer for my issues." I could tell he would have kept going so I gently placed my hand over his mouth.

"Shush. I prefer one on one time. I have a hard time being around a lot of people. Just makes me nervous I guess. I also understand that you got hurt because of Jared. It's fine. I want to be up here…alone…with…_you_…" I mumbled the last part not sure if I was ready for him to hear it or not.

By the look on his face I could tell that he did. He took my hand away from his face and held it in his hands dropping my other hand. He didn't look up from my hands when he whispered,

"I want to be here with you too." I knew that I blushed I could feel it warming up my face. I had never been close enough to a boy who didn't know about my secret for it to get this far. Then I remembered.

"Paul. There is something I need you to promise me." He looked up then and met my eyes. I swallowed and hopped he wouldn't laugh at me. When I knew he was listening I said, "You have to promise me you won't fall in love with me. We can be friends, but you can't fall in love with me."

I could tell that I shocked him. He had a glazed over look to his eyes. As if he was thinking about something really hard. It took him a minute before he responded.

"Why?" was all he said.

"I rather not explain it would ruin this night trust me." It would ruin any night.

"Are you in trouble?" He seemed so concerned. I hated that he thought that. I learned up on my toes because Paul was so much taller than me and kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

"It's not something that I can't handle. Promise." I whispered against his mouth.

"If you say so." He went in to kiss me more but I pulled away not letting myself think about the fact that went our lips meet my mind shooting out in happiness. Or the way my body was tingling because of how he was looking at me. I had to make sure he promise.

"Paul promise me." He didn't say anything. I took a small step back, "Please Paul I need you to promise me that we won't fall in love with me." I begged him with my eyes. I just begged him to go with it. To somehow understand that I needed him to do this, that he needed to realize that I am not healthy to be around.

Our little staring contest lasted about two minutes before he got a wicked smirk on his face. To say I wasn't a little scared about what his mind had thought out would be wrong.

"Alright you drive a hard bargain but fine, I promise that I will not fall in love with you." I waited for him to continue with the part of his plan that made him seem so diabolical.

"Is that it?" I was surprised when he didn't continue.

"Yea, but remember just because I can't fall for you doesn't mean you won't fall for me." With that he kissed my dumbfounded lips.

My arms wrapped around his neck and I gripped his hair with my fingers. His hand started on my back of my neck and my back. Then they started to roam as if they had a mind of their own. They found the small of my back to the front of my stomach and everywhere in between. I had never been touched like this before and I was vaguely wondering why I had never knew what I had been missing.

Parts of my body that I had used to warm up alone were getting a full blast now. Paul's tongue slid along my bottom lip as if asking for entrance and I had greatly granted him with it. Once he understood what I was doing he pulled away. I was shocked to see that both of us were gasping for air.

I leaned against Paul's chest and he sat down and pulled me onto his lap. We stayed like that for a minute. Unmoving and just content.

After a brief silence that was neither awkward nor forced Paul leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "You smell like strawberry's." I smiled and leaned into him. I took a good whiff of him expecting to smell a boyish smell but I was surprised I didn't.

I blurted out before thinking, "You smell amazing. Like a mix better a woodsy smell and I can't even describe it, but you smell like you." I blushed again for what seemed like the millionth time. I cannot believe I just told him he smells like himself. What else is he supposed to smell like?

Luckily Paul just laughed. "I am glad I smell good." I looked up at him and couldn't help but laughing along with him.

We ended up lying down on the cliff staring at the stars. I had my head on his chest and I could hear his heart. If I would let myself I knew I could fall asleep like this, with Paul's arm wrapped around me. I felt safe and secure. I felt like this was perfect.

Until I felt an all too familiar pain in my side, I winced at the sudden shock wave and I knew Paul had noticed.

"Are you ok?" I hid my face for him so he couldn't actually see how much pain I was in.

"Yea I'm… I'm fi-ine." My voice broke towards the end. I sucked in a ragged breath, "I think I should be getting home. I don't want my parents worrying."

Paul just gave me a once over and shrugged his shoulders, "If you say so, we are cutting it close though so maybe it's a good idea. I don't want your parents hating me."

I looked up at him and smiled, "I wouldn't let them."

Paul helped me up and I turned my face away when the pain shot through me again. It wasn't a long walk to my house but I didn't know if I could make it. I knew Paul would carry me if I collapsed but I was hoping it would not get that far.

I made it down to the beach again still in one piece more or less, but I still had several blocks to go before I reached my house. I pulled on Paul's arm telling him to stop. He looked down at me with alarm written all over his face.

"Paul do not freak out but I can't walk anymore. Do you think and I am sorry to ask you this but do you think maybe you could carry me, like piggy back." I winced at the thought of piggy back, not only would that be embarrassing but it would hurt like hell. He thought for a moment then before I knew it my feet were no longing on the ground and Paul's arm caught my head and shoulders before they crashed into the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"You needed to be carried and this is how I do it." He winked at me. I didn't know if being carried bridal style was cute enough not to be embarrassing but I didn't care because it didn't hurt at all.

I was too tired to care about how several people who were at the bonfire still were staring at us as Paul walked by with me in his arms. I was even too tired to think twice to why I saw Jared running out of the woods barely dress and having a look like he was ready to kill on his face. I just turned my face into Paul's chest and decided to rest my eyes for a while.

**Paul's POV**

I was pretty sure Kaylee was asleep by the steady breaths she was taking. I wasn't sure what had made her so tired and weak. Not that I minded caring her, she was so light I barely noticed her weight at all. I was just concerned. 

I have never had a date kiss me, then tell me I couldn't fall for them, then practically make out with me, and then collapse for no apparent reason. Kaylee had said she had a secret maybe this had to do with it.

I was almost as confused by Kaylee as I was by Jared. First I see him at the bonfire and he looks beyond pissed then he storms off into the woods with Sam running after him. Plus I swore I saw him shaking, visibly, shaking. Why Jared felt he couldn't talk or hang out with me anymore I have no idea but like Kaylee had said while we were lying on the beach in one of the few moments we did talk, she said,

"_Maybe there is a reason you two aren't friends maybe something needs to change or happen before you too can become friends again."_

It struck me as odd how she seemed to be I don't know wise I guess. What was even odder yet, was just moments ago I saw Jared again. Accept he was this time walking out of the woods and he barely had his clothes on. Well his shorts. I hated how he felt the need to barely walk around with clothes now. When I would do that he told me I was being vain, the damn hypocrite.

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts, but I just kept replaying the scene of Jared walking out of the woods. He had seemed even more pissed than before, which I thought would be impossible. He looked like he was about to kill someone. About to kill me. And again I knew I saw him shaking. It was all too strange for me to understand. If Jared wanted to pick a fight with me than great, bring it. He might finally be a little bit bigger than me but I know I can hold my own. It will probably be a pretty fair fight.

I told myself I needed to stop thinking about that because I could feel myself losing control of my anger and there are many reasons why right now would not be the best time to explode.

It took me another few minutes to walk to Kaylee's house. I was sort of worried about how her parents would react to seeing me holding a sleeping Kaylee. I sighed and knocked on the door.

I heard her father _say "I'll get it."_ Then he opened the door. The look on his face went from confusion to horror then to a weirdly sad and understanding face. Then he wiped his face free of all emotion.

"What happened Paul?" I was taken aback by the tone of his voice. It seemed so miserable and almost detached.

It took me a second to form a sentence I still wasn't sure what happened, "Well sir we were lying on the beach watching the stars and she I'm not sure but it seemed to me she had a well um a spasm or something I looked at her and she had pain written all over her face. She tried to hide it but I saw it. She then said she needed to go home. So we walked for a while then she grabbed my arm and told me she couldn't walk any longer. She asked me to give her a piggy back ride but I knew she wasn't feeling up to holding on so I carried her and on the way I guess she fell asleep. I promise you I didn't do anything to cause this." I hadn't realized I did not take a breath through all of that so I took a greedy one now.

He dad took a long look at her then at me, "Very well son, please come in and you can take Kaylee to her room it's just down the hall." He pointed me to her room and I gladly took her too it.

I opened her door and if it was a mess. You could tell that they had just moved. It seemed odd though if this was a vacation why did they have so much stuff with them. She had way more clothes and other things than someone usually brought on a vacation. I placed her on her bed where I could tell that the sheets and comforter were not the old owners of this house's but Kaylee's.

I tucked her in and planted a small kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight Kaylee." I closed the door and walked down the hall again.

I was about to walk out the door to start heading home when a hand clasped me on the shoulder. "Just a minute, I would like a word with you." I grimaced knowing I would not like what I would hear next."

"Alright." Her dad led me to the couch and gestured for me to sit. I did. He sat in the chair that faced the couch. I waited for him to start but he was just staring into the distance with some sort of defeated look to his face. I went to start talking but he held up one finger, gesturing for me to wait.

"I doubt you know much about life kid, no doubt you are a good guy but there is something I should tell you about our Kaylee. This something makes her unique among all other girls you will ever meet. She most likely will not tell you this until she is ready, so I will wait for her to tell you everything, but I am going to tell you something because it is not right for you not to know. She might and most likely will hate me for a while for telling you this but I need you to know."

I waited and signaled that I was listening.

"Kaylee has a good grasp on her secret. She understands it and accepts it. Most people like her mother can't. I still wish every day that it wasn't true but I am not living in false denial. I have come to terms with it." He shut his mouth rather fast than chuckled, "Any ways I didn't keep you hear to gossip, I just want you to know she is fragile. Not in the since that she is easily hurt because she is not but she has a way to build up a wall around herself and if you do break down that wall like her friends have and if you run away after you find out her secret. And no before you ask I will not tell you that is for her to tell you. But if she does tell you and you run or treat her differently she doesn't easily forget. She understands because she understands everything. She is the most forgiving person in the world. I suppose she has to be."

He stopped talking for a minute as if he was lost in his own train of thought but then he started up again,

"I guess Paul all I am trying to say is if you are not ready for curve balls and hard times you should try to be friends with my daughter. I also want to tell you if you plan on one day wanting to date my daughter you can forget about it. It won't work out, so don't try save yourself the heartbreak. Just be her friend for now it will be easier on both of you."

Her father sat back in his chair then, I guess he had said everything he needed too. It was my turn now.

"Sir, your daughter made me promise something very strange today. She made me promise that I would never fall in love with her." When I said that his eyes drained of all emotion, he almost looked like he was the most depressed man alive.

"I promised her that and I will keep that promise if that is what she wants. I will also make a promise to you sir; I promise that I will not be more than her friend until she wills it to be that way. I barely know her sir but you're right in assuming that I do already feel something for her. She is unlike anyone I have ever met. I will also not force your hand in telling me her secret. I think I would rather hear it from her even if it takes years." I was pretty proud of myself because my little speech I think sounded good.

Her father just got up and started walking to the door I followed him. After he opened it and I was outside he leaned against the door as if he had no more strength to stand up on his own any more.

He looked up from the floor with dead eyes and said, "It won't take years, I doubt it will take weeks, but when she does tell you be prepared to never look at the world the same way again. Make sure you understand that Paul, becoming close with my daughter will bring you some of the happiest times in your life I promise you but it will also bring you all of the saddest." With that he said goodbye and left me standing right outside his door more confused than I thought possible.

I walked home thinking about everything her dad had told me, which really wasn't a lot. Just that there was something that could make me see Kaylee differently something he wouldn't tell me but she had to. Something that would maybe make my eyes looks as sad and dead as her fathers. It was almost depressing to see how much hatred he had for life. It seemed to me that he felt he didn't get a fair trade in life, that someone had dealt him a wrong hand.

Maybe that was true. Maybe it all had to do with Kaylee. Maybe everything had to do with Kaylee. Maybe just maybe I might be able to find out if I break my promise.

**Yea I know it is a little shorter than some of the other chapters but I felt this was a good place to end it.**

**I hope everyone reading likes it so far. **

**Next Chapter will be covering more than one day and involves a lot more of Paul. **

**Jared comes back in maybe a chapter or two.**

**Keep Reviewing the more I get the faster I write (:**

**-SC**


	6. Ch 6 Wanting to believe

Ch. 6 Wanting to believe

**Kaylee's POV**

The days had begun to blur into one massive day. Ever since my so called "date" with Paul my life had become what it used to be.

When I woke up the next day after practically passing out on Paul my father told me that I had to take it easy. I fought with him telling him all I ever did was take it easy, but I too knew in the back of my mind that I pushed myself to far the other night. I had asked my body to do things it wasn't ever going to be ok with doing. I asked my body to pretend to be healthy. I asked it to allow me to skip my medicine. To be able to go one day without it, the price had ended up with me puking my guts up for the next four days just like it used to be.

There were times within those four days when I was fine. Hours were I would be able to walk out of my bathroom and downstairs and out into our backyard in order to feel the slightly cold wind on my feverish cheeks. Even that cool relaxing breeze was not enough to keep the sickness away. So every few hours almost like clockwork I would run as fast as my weak body would allow me to and shut myself in the bathroom until the current wave of nausea had passed.

My father told me the day I was finally getting a little better that Paul had called every day. Several times a day actually. He had even brought by soup and a get well balloon but every time my dad had sent him away, saying I was too sick for visitors. Which I guess was true. Paul most likely thought I had the flu and he probably thought my dad didn't want him to catch it. Just if he knew my sort of sickness was not catchable.

The worse part of my long illness was not the puking my guts up but rather the visit from Dr. Carlisle. There was something wrong about him. His perfect youthful face that showed no sign of aging or sadness or lines of stress, how his hair was so perfectly blond still. It just seemed unnatural. I enjoyed him though. He was nice and gentle. His appearance was not why I hated his visits, I actually like seeing him, he was good looking man. I didn't even mind my regular checkups those were fine, but this time seeing him was different. It was not a regular check-up it was an emergency one. It was different because this time there was no appointment. This time my father had called and asked him to come to our house to make sure I would live a few more days, this visit would tell me how sick I really was. This visit was the one I had been dreading.

I knew I couldn't stay healthy forever. I was naïve even to think so. I knew that one day and one day soon I would fall sick, my currant doctor would be called. He would tell me how much damage had been done and how it affected how much time I had left.

Carlisle was more passionate than most doctors I have had in the past, so he wouldn't not say it like that. He would most likely say that I had caused serve damage to my body and that I would face the consequences but for now I still had time.

How much time though? Carlisle never told me stuff like that, I think it hurt him to think about the fact that no matter what I was a lost case. I couldn't be saved not even by him.

What did strike me as odd though was that this time he did not come alone. He had brought his son Edward with him. This was the first time I was meeting him and he was gorgeous, but had the same strange perfectness to him that his father had. The same cold and stone like appearance that was both beautiful and frightening especially because he was not his real son but adopted, strange to say the least.

I remember how the whole conversation of that day went, Carlisle walked in with his son closely behind him. They were wheeling in some sort of machine that I knew was of course meant for me. My father and I had agreed that I would no longer visit a hospital; I would not die in one I refused. Instead we had hired Carlisle to come out to our house ever so often to take care of me, and he did so with glee. I believed he liked the challenge of my case. I think he honestly believed he could cure me, poor man, I wasn't in such denial.

I watched as the placed the machine in the center of the living room right in front of where I was sitting on the couch.

"_Aw Carlisle you shouldn't have." I gave him a sweet innocent smile._

"_This is our fourth date after all Kaylee I think a gift was in order." We both chuckled at that. I saw the confused look on his son's face then suddenly it went away with a grave understanding._

"_Is he my candy stripper?" My gaze directed toward his son and I was pleased to see that he smiled a small and lopsided smile at that._

"_How rude of me, no this is my son Edward he will be coming with me from time to time just to help out." _

"_He seems a little I guess young to have to watch me slowly wither away and die." I saw Carlisle wince at this, like I said denial. _

"_I'm just saying." I muttered not really enjoying how awkward the room had become._

_I was waiting for Carlisle to maybe say something but I was surprised when it was Edward, who spoke up first, _

"_Are you so willing to die that you abandon all hope?" My eyes widened at that. No one had ever really said things like that to me. Everyone felt sorry for me, no one wanted to cause me more pain so what I said was just never argued with or questioned. _

_I saw how Carlisle was shocked at this to. He looked up from the machine and sent a glare toward his son, "Edward I must say I am surprised I taught you better than this, mind your manners." I could tell Edward felt bad for disappointing his father; I could see how he looked up to him. But I could also see how he still believed in what he said and he was not going to back down._

_I felt the need to respond. "Well if you must know I am very willing to die. I have had a longer life than many and most people promised me. I have lived a very painful life not that I am complaining. But I have seen the hurt I cause people. With me dying will of course cause them more pain but it will be final pain. After a while the pain with finally go away. I am ready for the pain that I cause others to be over. I am ready to move on and start on whatever journey is planned for me after this life. Do I wish I could get well and live a normal life, and have all the normal things most everyone else will be able to enjoy? Yes I wish about that all the time. But such a wish only brings me pain. I know I cannot have that. It is not what was meant for me, so I am fine with that. I will embrace death with a warm embrace when it comes; I am not afraid nor am I eager for it to come."_

I remember how after that both Carlisle and Edward were staring at me like I had grown three extra heads. I had never really told someone how ready I was to die, and never in so many words, I think it shocked me as well as them.

"_You seem to have a very good grasp on your life and what is to come. But I still believe that you are wasting what time you do have left by thinking about what is to come. Why not live every day like tomorrow is your last, because you're right it might be the last day for you. Don't waste it." I saw his father's eyes dart to him but this time he said nothing. I wanted to respond but the moment I opened my mouth Carlisle jabbed a needle into my arm. I flinched._

"_Man I hate needles." Carlisle chuckled_

"_I would have thought by now you would be used to them." He smiled at me with sad warmth to his eyes. It was the look of hating what you understood. He had finally come to terms with my death. I thought that when this day happened I would be glad because he could stop fooling himself, but now as I looked into his eyes I feel hopeless, he was one of the last people who knew about my disease but still believed I could live. Now even his faith was gone. Now I knew my fate was sealed; now I knew I was going to die._

"_Maybe not." I looked up and saw that Edward's eyes were locked on mine. He gave me a faint smile, he believed I could live, and because of that, because he somehow knew that I needed someone to believe, I started to believe._

I remember that they left shortly after that. Edward left with a slight slanted smile directed towards me. I smiled back easily trying to thank him with my eyes. Trying to tell him how much his word had truly meant to me. I knew that I would die on day but who said it had to be soon. A miracle could happen right? I wanted that much to be true.

I knew better than to hope, because I knew that there was no hope for me. But something inside of me told me that even if I couldn't hope to live for myself I should try to live for someone else.

My mind then flashed me a picture of Jared. Of how sad and angry he looked when he saw me with Paul at the bonfire.

I pushed the image away. If I was going to think about a guy I should be thinking about Paul. The guy I had been hanging out with. The guy that I had liked and even was going to risked getting close to. Even if it's only meant as friends. _If you did really choose Paul Kaylee why are you thinking about Jared?_

I shushed my mind not wanting to hear it make since. My life was depressing as it could be. I really did not want to add a love triangle to that. _Sure I want someone to love me, but I can't allow that. It would be far too selfish of me._ I sighed again, and picked myself up and walked outside to get some fresh air.

**Paul's POV **

It had been days since I had seen Kaylee and I missed her. I have had so many girls before her, and I was sure that once I cracked the mystery that was Kaylee I would have her too. Then my life could go back to normal.

I would be able to meet any girl I wanted, sleep with them and start over. I was the male whore around La Push to say the least. Did I want to sleep with Kaylee… Yea of course she was gorgeous. The real question was did I want a relationship with her. I begged my mind to be able to say no. I didn't want to get tied down especially to a girl who could leave and go back home any day.

But there was a small part, but it was growing every time I thought about her, that wanted nothing more than to not make her another notch in the bed post. There was this strange part of my mind and _heart_ that wanted to just hold her. Hold her until I found out what had her so scared to let people in. Then when I found out what it was, I didn't want to run away. I wanted to stay and help her get through it.

_Wow Paul getting weak over a girl you barely know._ I sighed and keep walking along the beach.

I usually would have been at school around this time, seeing how it is Wednesday and the middle of the day. But the only reason I had looked forward to school on Monday was because I thought Kaylee would be there. I was sadly wrong. I knew she didn't have to go to school anymore, but I still hoped that for some reason she would show up, to make my day a little less boring.

I had called her cell and she picked up saying that she was a little under the weather and that she would call me when she felt better. I figured that would be in a day or two.

I called her on Sunday. It had been three days. Who is so under the weather for three days?

Then a thought hit me. I should bring her something to help make her better. I didn't know what she had, or how bad she was sick. I just knew that I would do anything to see her again even if that meant bringing her soup. _Now I'm turning into a cliché? Great Paul, A few more days of this and you will be singing her love songs in her backyard._ I flinched at that thought. Paul Maraz did not sing to girls. _Ever. _No matter how special I might think they are.

I was now currently walking over to said Kaylee's house with my mom's homemade chicken noodle soup hoping that she was not allergic to anything within the soup.

I went up to her door when I heard a chocking noise, then a sound as if someone was puking. I ran to her back yard just in time to see Kaylee crouched over and vomiting whatever was in her stomach. I ran to her and held her hair. I didn't know if she was even aware if I was there, but I didn't care. She was sick and she needed someone. I was glad that I could be that someone.

**Jared's POV**

I had yet to see or even speak to Kaylee since the bonfire. It had been four long excruciating days. I had come to realize what an imprint fully was. It was not just a vague feeling of want or even need I felt towards Kaylee it was something much more.

Kaylee had turned into the only thing that mattered to me. It was as if she was the only thing holding me down to Earth. I had also realized that Sam was right about the fact that staying away from her would hurt. It hurts like hell.

There is this constant pain in my- I hate to say but heart that tugs at me every second of everyday that I am away from her. Sam said it was one of the powers of the imprint. It was letting me know where she was when we were not together. Sam also said that if I let it take me where it wanted me to go I would end up without a doubt where ever she was at the time.

I knew Sam was not lying because I had tried it out. I was alone at my house and the pain kept growing and growing. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was staring at her through the woods. She was sitting on her porch, in her back yard. Staring at nothing. I could tell that she was thinking deeply about something what that something was I don't know. But God did I want to know.

She seemed sad. As if she hated what she had been thinking. I wanted so much to be able to run up to her and hold her. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be ok, that I would make everything better. That I would kill anything that dared to hurt her.

I exhaled and was about to do either the best thing in my life or the worst. I took one small step forward than another and another.

Just then I saw her turn an odd shade of green and she bent forward and started to violently vomit. I didn't need to have super hearing to hear her whisper and agonized _"Oh God."_ And I also didn't need super hearing to hear someone running to her aid. I was pissed it wasn't me.

I figured it was her dad or something. But I was shocked to say the least when it was Paul. I started to shack so uncontrollably that I ended up phasing. _Great Jared now you really can't go and help her. She would probably faint if she saw a giant brown wolf coming at her. Not to mention what Paul would do with his temper._

_I wasn't aware you were going to shift today Jared. _Sam's voice leered at me. I knew he already saw through my mind's eye what had happened. He seemed to find it funny that my best friend was after my imprint. Also that in his terms "didn't have the common sense to claim what was mine before someone else did." Which I just interpreted as _I didn't have the balls to do anything._

_I am surprised that you have managed to stay away from her this long. I know that the pain has got to be unbearable. _

I hissed at that Sam was fully aware at how bad it hurt. What was even worse was that since Kaylee was sick I started to feel sick.

_That will happen. If she gets sick you will feel it and the same goes for her. If you get hurt she might feel it not as strong but she will know that something happened to you. That is if you ever talk to her again and let her know that you are the reason why she has certain feelings she can't seem to understand._

I tried to shut him off. I didn't want Kaylee to get hurt because of me, but I just couldn't seem to get enough drive to believe that I was more good than bad for her. Love wasn't something I was familiar with. Nor did I think I deserved someone as good as her. I have been sleeping with every girl that would have me for the longest time. She couldn't want me.

_Jared you are not Paul. You have hardly slept with every girl. Granted more girls than any one person should sleep with but you are nowhere near Paul's number._

I knew he was right but I still hated to admit it. To admit that maybe I wasn't the worse person for Kaylee. I just couldn't get over the fact that I still wasn't sure if it was the wolf who liked her or if it was me.

_Jared do you feel any lust for her right now. Think back to when you first saw her picture it in your mind. What is the first emotion that you feel._

_I thought back to when she had walked into me and she and I locked eyes. I remembered how the whole world seemed to shift, and the only important thing was her. It was almost as if our heart beats were the same. We were one person. I knew at the time I had felt lust for her, but now I couldn't remember what that feeling felt like._

_All I felt was…was…love?_

_As a wolf Jared all you feel is a vague sense of love. Our wolf versions of ourselves understand who we love and we want to protect them, but they cannot feel lust or want. Just love. It was not the wolf inside of you that wanted Kaylee that night, it was purely you._

With that statement my body started to shift. Within moment I was human again. I found the shorts I barely had time before exploded into a giant wolf to take off. I slipped them on, and ran over to Kaylee and to my dislike Paul.

"Kaylee are you ok?" I asked when I got close enough for her to hear me without yelling. I was not shocked to see how Paul was glaring at me. Nothing new there, I ignored him and turned back to Kaylee she had yet to answer me.

Kaylee was crouched over and breathing heavily. I was started to become extremely concerned.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" I practically screamed at Paul. He once again glared up at me. I could see his hand shaking. He was close to phasing I was surprised that he hadn't yet with a temper like his.

"How the _shit_ would I know. I found her like this. Why don't you make yourself useful and call someone or get my car ready and we can take her to the hospital." He tossed me up his keys. I turned to run to his car when I finally heard Kaylee's voice.

"NO! I do _not_ want to go to the hospital. I am fine. Just someone take me to my room." She coughed some more before continuing. "Please guys…_Please._" If I thought I could ever resist her I knew for facts know that I could not, and would not.

I turned to Paul and saw that the fight went out of his eyes and he was happy as long as she was, that made a twinge of anger price my stomach. I didn't want _Paul_ of all people to fall for her. She was _mine._

"I think we should just take her to her room. She seems fine now. Maybe it was just food poisoning."

"Yea. Fine." I snapped at Paul. He had no right to tell me what was best for my love. My life. I knew that she needed to be home. I knew she needed to be alone right now. I knew that because we were connected. He didn't know that. He never would.

**Paul's POV**

I ended up carrying Kaylee to her room. She was going to tell me whether she wanted to or not why she was always getting so sick. Maybe she had some sort of disease. I would take care of her. I doubted it was fatal.

I walked with her in my arms bridal style, and placed her on her bed. She seemed so tired. I kissed her forehead and in the corner of my eye I saw how Jared's hands were in fist. _Good she is mine. I called dibs back off._ It had never bothered me before when Jared got a girl I liked because I would always get certain girls he liked. That changed though ever since he did. The moment he started hanging out with _Sam_ all the girls just wanted him. Granted I still got plenty of girls but it sucked when he would get more than me.

Kaylee was different though. I didn't just want to sleep with her. I wanted to know her. I defiantly did not want Jared to know her. I hated the fact that somehow he showed up today. Now she would not just remember how I helped her but about how amazing it was that Jared had helped her too.

As I was walking out to my car I remembered that Jared still had my car keys.

"Give me my keys dick." I practically snarled at him. Jared had the same death glare that I was sure I had on my face.

"Take them then!" He shoved the keys at me I just laughed.

"What is so funny? Is it the fact that we both once again like the same girl? Or the fact that said girl was just puking her guts up in front of us for no reason? Or maybe it was the fact that _everything_ to you is a joke."

I know my faced must have paled in that instant because he was right, like always. Here I was laughing when not two minutes ago the girl I had been falling in love with… _Paul you don't love her._ Maybe not yet but it's getting there I told myself… Was puking her guts out.

"Actually I was laughing at the fact that after all these months of not talking to me, the one thing that makes you even look at me is none other than a girl." Jared looked at first as if he was saddened by what I had said then it turned to anger than to something else. He then closed off his emotions than emotions to me and just said in an eerie voice

"Paul you do not want to be my friend again. The cost is far too high."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" If I was hoping to get any answers I was wrong. The only thing he said after he looked back at the house before walking away was

"We will be close again soon. I am sorry." I don't think I was supposed to hear the last part but Jared just walked away.

I was going to go stay with Kaylee but I knew that I needed to change my clothes and think over what I was going to do know that I knew Kaylee was seriously sick. I got into my car and started to drive home.

**Kaylee's POV**

I waited until I heard that Paul's car pull out of our driveway. I knew that Jared had already left so I didn't have to worry about him.

I pulled off the blankets that Paul had placed on top of my and smiled when I touched the place on my forehead he had kissed. I knew Paul was sweet in his own cocky way, but kissing me on the forehead after he tucked me in and after he had held my hair as I puked my life up was just…just perfect.

I walked into my bathroom thinking about how amazing Paul was when the same terrible feeling came over me again. I feel down onto my knees and wrapped my arms around my ribs as if it would hold me together through this pain.

I knew that this would happen it had happened before. I was just wishing that it would go away. I reached into my pocket very slowly and dialed the one person I knew could and would help me, even if it meant just knocking me out with pain meds. I had been strong for sixteen years I have earned a few weak days.

"Carlisle, I need you." I barely had the strength to whisper.

**Hey guys. I know it has been awhile and for that I am sorry. I have been doing loads of school work lately. The play at our school just started auditions so I have been busy with that.**

**I know excuses, I am sorry again.**

**Hopefully the next chapter will come sooner.**

**Like always R&R!**


	7. Ch 7 A Painful experience

Ch. 7 A Painful experience

**Kaylee's POV**

Carlisle said that he was hurrying and would be right over. He told me to stay where I was. _Like I could go anywhere_ I said to myself. I was still in the same position I had been before I called him. The only difference was that I was now on my side lying on the floor. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. _Ok Kaylee in…and out… In and out…_ I kept chanting to myself. It made it a little easier to breathe, but only a little.

I started to count the seconds by my unsteady breathes just so I could get my mind of the unbearable pain that was shooting through my body. After 167 "seconds" I heard Carlisle open the door downstairs.

"Kaylee! Sweetie where are you?" His voice sounded a little less than frantic. I didn't know if I had the strength to respond because all that came out was a very non-verbal _ugggghh_. Which no person would be able to hear let alone understand.

But to my dismay he did hear it from the fact that not even thirty seconds went by from the moment he called out for me to now with him looking down at me with the most concerned eyes I have ever seen. I wanted to tell him that I was fine, but at the exact moment that I tried to talk another sharp pain filled my whole body. I scrunched up my face from keep from screaming out in pain. _I am not weak. I am not weak. I have felt worse. This is not as bad as before._ And in truth it wasn't the worse pain I have ever felt because of my illness. Not the worse by far. But it still made the list of my most painful memories.

There was something different about this pain. There was the usual pain that I was accustomed to recognizing but then there was something more. It was almost as if there was this pull at my heart. A pull that didn't hurt per say but defiantly did not feel right. For some reason Jared's faced popped in my mind. _No I was not missing him. That's ridiculous Kaylee._ I scolded myself for even thinking that. 

But while Carlisle poked and prodded me all I could think of to get my mind of the sharp pains the needles made in my skin and the pain that was inside of me was Jared. For some odd mystical reason when I pictured his face the pain cause from the sickness became less noticeable. It didn't go away but it was no longer the pain my brain was focused on. Whenever I thought of Jared the other pain that I couldn't name was on the forefront. It consumed me. _If he was here I wouldn't hurt so badly. Him staying away is hurting me._

I sucked in a shocked breathe when I thought that. What was wrong with me? Was I going crazy now from the consent pain? On top of dying and always being lonely and in pain, now I had to go crazy too. Well great why not?

"Kaylee, how are you feeling? I gave you some morphine for the pain but I would like to take you back to my house where I have some emergency equipment set up so I can have a better look at you. I think it would be unwise if I just left you here."

I barely had the state of mind to respond but with the pain lessening I found I could respond. So I quickly said before I feel off into a state of half asleep "That would be for the best." I gave him a weak smile to try to encourage him that I was fine.

"Where are your parents Kaylee?" I racked my brain for an answer I know they told me they were going somewhere but where?

"Out." Was all I could say, he nodded and said that he would call them and tell them where I was going on the way over to his house. He then picked me up and then picked up his bag in a fairly easy motion. I was shocked. He didn't seem strong enough to carry me like this.

I was starting to feel too tired to actually care, but there was one question I wanted to ask. "Carlisle?"

He looked down on me with an amused expression on his face, probably because I was still fighting to stay awake. "Yes Kaylee?"

"Will Edward and the rest of you family be there?" Carlisle always chatted about his family and I was always eager to meet them. I told him that several times, and every time he asked if I would like to come over and meet them. I had wanted to so bad, even more so after I found out that he had an adopted daughter named Alice who was only a little older than myself. But each time when he offered I told him no. He had asked me why the first couple of times but since my answer was always the same he stopped asking.

"Yes Kaylee they will be. You can finally meet my family. I knew Alice is excited to meet you." He smiled down at me. He had told me several times how Alice and I would get along so well. Two peas in a pod he said.

"Until she learns that I am going to die." I said coldly. That was the reason I never actually meet his family. I didn't want to become attached to someone again while knowing my time was short. I knew that most people didn't care. I also knew if Carlisle's family was anything like him, which they were by the way Edward had treated me the one time I met him, that they wouldn't treat me any differently but I still couldn't will myself to cause that kind of pain to someone. No one ever wanted to lose someone they cared for, and anyone who cared for me would have to go through that pain.

I already hated myself for causing this pain on my friends back home, on my parents, on Carlisle who so desperately wanted to save me, on Edward who barely knew me, and to Jared and Paul who for some god forsaken reason felt the need to plant themselves into my life, and I even after staying away from people for so long felt drawn to the both. I felt like I had no choice than to be close to them. Mostly Jared… I mean Paul… _Oh jeese Kaylee on top of the drama of dying you are mixing in boy drama too. Why the hell not. Might as well make it interesting._

I heard a sigh and looked up through drooping eyelids to see Carlisle smiling sadly down at me. "Kaylee they will love you and you need not to worry I still believe and so does Edward that you will live. Now please stop fighting the medicine and sleep you will feel better soon." I didn't have much of a choice because just then Carlisle placed me in the car and faster than I thought possible he started driving. Soon the sound of car's purring engine and the help of the powerful drugs he gave me knocked me out cold.

**Jared's POV **

I told Paul the truth. We would be close again and soon. He was going to phase any day now. I was sure seeing me today was going to push him over the edge. He even started shaking but then we heard Kaylee sigh in her sleep and he looked up to where she was sleeping and bam he was fine. I walked away after that. I hated that my best friend _ex-best friend for the moment_ had a crush on my imprint. She was mine…

Just think about how Paul would leave her heartbroken if given the chance had me shaking so bad that I phased again not twenty yards from Kaylee's house. I instantly heard Sam's "inner" voice and he was focused on what had happened in the last fifteen-ish minutes that I had been with Kaylee and Paul.

After he had seen everything I suspected him to say something but he was thoughtful which was by far worse.

_Oh come on Sam let me have it. _I practically begged him. _I bet you tell me in the next I dunno thirty seconds? _

_How many times do I have to tell you Jared, I am never going to bet anything with you, I need to talk to you come on over to Emily's. _I grunted a replay and started running through the woods to her house when out of know where pain raced through my body. To say I was scared shitless was an understatement.

_Uh Sam, what the hell is happening to me? _I was grateful that he had yet to phase because if I was alone I think I might have gone insane.

_Jared I need you to calm down and run as fast as you can to Emily's so I can figure out what's wrong with you alright? _ I told him ok and ran the last mile or so to Emily's I phased and pulled on my cutoffs quickly. The pain was far worse in human form and I found myself lying on the forest floor. I was having hard time breathing. I might have been able to deal with the pain while I was a wolf but the moment I turned back into the human me there was this new type of pain that I didn't have as a wolf. The other pain wasn't gone but it was not the pain my brain focused the most on. My brain and my body only really focused on this new much more annoying pain. It didn't hurt the way the other pain does but it still hurt.

I closed my eyes and started trying to get my breathing back to normal. All I could for some reason think about was Kaylee, he face just kept popping up in my mind. No matter how many times I pushed it away it still came back. Each time it came back it brought a fresh new wave of the new pain with it.

This pain seemed to surround my heart. It was constricting it making it hard to not just breathe but almost hard for it to even beat. I was more than relieved when I heard Sam's feet rushing to help me.

"_Jared_!" His voice was full of concern. I could tell even without opening my eyes that he was checking to see if I had any visible vampire bit marks that would kill me on my flesh.

"Sam… I n-n-need,"

"Jared what?" I looked up to him and I instantly knew what to say without knowing why,

"Kaylee." I soon as I said her name the pain got a little stronger. Just like every time I heard her laugh or saw her face in my mind. "Sam I don't know what's happening to me." My voice was barely a whisper. I was grateful though that the second pain that I had felt first was lessening but barely.

Sam helped me up and all but carried me into the couch in Emily's living room. I saw her rush into the room take on look and me and Sam her eyes and face even the half that was scarred and ruined looked sad and knowing. The same way Sam's had looked the moment after I said Kaylee's name.

"What is wrong with me? You both know just tell me, and tell me how to make it st-!" My sentence got cut off because at that moment it felt like my stomach was getting cut open. I looked down and was expecting to see blood all over but nothing was there. I moved my already shaking hand and touched my abs. They felt fine they weren't tender to the touch like I thought.

Then out of know where again I felt the same pain like someone was _fricken cutting me! _I looked up at Sam and he looked back at me puzzled.

"Tell me what it is you feel exactly Jared." I took in a shaking breath and was thankful for the moment that some of the pain had gone away.

"It's hard to explain." I started but by the looks Sam was giving me he didn't care, I had best try to explain. "Ok… Um where do I begin…" I looked up Sam for help and I was shocked when Emily chimed in.

"When did the pain start dear?"

I took a sigh of relief now that I knew how to start I felt more confident in explaining what I felt. "Well it started right after I left Kaylee. I got really angry and I phased in the woods by her house. Sam told me he needed to talk to me and to come here as fast as I can…" I winced when I felt a less sharp pain in the inside of my right elbow.

"Anyways, I was running here when out of nowhere I got this almost sick feeling not a "I am going to throw up sick" but more of a "something bad is going to happen" feeling… Does that make sense?" They both nodded so I continued.

"Then it turned into one of the worst pains I have ever felt. The only thing that could even compare and even that doesn't even come close was the days before I first changed. It felt like and still feels like but it is less strong now, but it feels as if my whole body is fighting itself. It is as if my brain has shut off and my body no longer knows what to do with itself so it's going catatonic. I feel like each part of my insides is slowly dying. Some parts feel as if they are twisting so tight that they may burst and other feel like acid has been dripped on them. It just feels so terrible. I still don't even know what the second pain is." I shut my eyes and let out a little whimper when I felt a sharp jolt get sent into my body.

"That just looked like someone shocked you Jared. Is that what it felt like?" It happened to my times then some more of the pain faded.

"Yea exactly like someone shocked me." Emily looked from me to Sam then back to me.

"Jared sweetie what did the second pain feel like?" That was both easier and harder to explain. Easier because I believed I knew what caused it and harder because it made no sense to feel this way.

"Well it sort of changed but still stayed the same." I tried to explain. Emily sat by my side and grabbed my hand and looked at me with the kindest eyes and said, go on.

I shut my eyes and began. "Well it started right after I phased back from a wolf into me. The wolf only felt the pain but even that was amplified as a human. Plus this new pain came too." I reached my hand into my hair and pulled at it lightly to get some of my frustration out.

"It was weird. At first I thought to first pain was worse but then my brain would not focus on that pain but instead it focused on the second pain. It was centered almost on my heart. It made it harder to breathe and as dumb as this will sound made it harder it seemed for my heart to beat. Every time I would picture Kaylee or hear her laugh in my mind it would get worse. This part of my mind wanted me to get up and find her no matter what. I wanted to find her and make sure she was safe and ok. For some reason I felt that what was happening to me was because of her. I can't explain it." I sighed not only was I tired from the pain that was no mostly gone other than the fact that I still felt like I needed to make sure Kaylee was ok, I was now also tired for the amount of talking I had done.

I wasn't shy or quite but I mostly just said a sentence or two here and there. Never as much at one time that I did now. It really made me tired. I opened my eyes to look at both Sam and Emily and to see what they were thinking about my "pains". I was almost positive they would look either worried for me or calm because they already knew what was happening to me. What I didn't expect was the look of pure terror in their eyes.

"Um I'm not going to d-die ri-ight?" I couldn't help but stutter through my sentence the look they both had was enough for me to doubt that I would live the rest of today.

"You ah should be fine. Did the pain around your chest go away? The pain that centered around Kaylee I mean?"

I looked at him wondering why that was the first question he asked but then I replied shocked, "Um pretty much I still feel like I want to see if she is ok but it feels more like it did when I was avoiding her. Like a pull towards her, it only a little stronger than that."

Sam shook his head looking very relieved then asked "And the other more painful feelings are they gone too?" I nodded a yes. They went all the way away, I was relieved.

"Are you going to tell me what happened to me?" I asked almost rude. I was cranky after all that pain.

"I don't think I have the answer you are looking for. All I can say is that I believe you were indeed channeling the same pain Kaylee was feeling. Being her imprint you can do that. It helps let you know when she is hurting. I don't understand why Kaylee would go through such pain but I do believe she knows why because if she didn't you would have also felt her being scared. Did you feel scared?"

"I uh at first did but then almost felt as if I was at peace with it. I thought I was going crazy or something because I _was_ scared but I didn't feel like it."

Sam nodded his head, "It looks as if Kaylee is ok for now. I suggest that you go see her tomorrow. For now go home and get some rest. You don't have the energy to run patrols so I'll pick up your shift this one time. Jared I will warn you that you might feel this again. If you do don't hesitate to act on it and make sure Kaylee is ok. Do you understand? I know you do not like being imprinted with someone but the universe put you to together for a reason and if she gets hurt because you were to stubborn to act on something that is a pure as the air you breathe trust me when I say you will never forgive yourself."

I could tell Sam was being dead serious. He didn't take imprinting lightly and I knew he resented me a little bit for hating that I had been magically chosen to be Kaylee's lap dog. I mean granted it could be with someone far worse. She was so beautiful and her eyes just held so much emotion, and her lips were so…_ ok enough Jared. You will look after her but that doesn't mean that you have to be with her. Plus it looks like she likes Paul far more than she likes you. Get over it._

"Fine Sam I'll look after her. I am going home. Thanks for taking care of me both of you." I smiled fondly at Emily she really was like a second mother to me. "I'll be back tomorrow for breakfast and I'll do patrols all day to Sam if you want."

"No its fine there haven't been any vampires since the Cullen's so I think we will be safe if we just ran normal patrols. No need for us both to be too tired if something bad did happen.

"Alright. Then I guess I will see you guys later. And um thanks again." I smiled and waved to them I began to walk away when out of nowhere Sam stepped in front of me and said,

"I have told you this before Jared and this will be the last time I warn you, staying away from Kaylee will hurt. That is what the second pain you felt was. Your wolf most likely felt it mixed in with the pain. The longer you stay away from her the more you and the wolf will feel it. I am telling you this not to try to play match maker. I know how you feel about being destined to be with her but you need to know that the pain of an imprint does go both ways. She needs you too Jared, don't forget that. You are hurting both you and her by staying away from her."

I got angry when he said that so like any teenage werewolf I screamed back at him, "It's not like she has made any effort at all to see me! She is too busy hanging out with _Paul_! Who am I to try harder than her!" I was fuming and I know that Sam didn't deserve me to yell at him especially after him and Emily just got done taking care of me but I couldn't help it. I did want to talk to Kaylee but I just figured all she cared about was Paul. Girls always look at Paul before they look at me.

"Jared," Sam's voice was weary he hated it when I phased in his house. It has only happened twice but the damage was terrible. I took a deep breathe to attempt to calm down. Then when Sam believed I was calm enough he began again.

"Jared, she is new to everything here on the reservation. I do not understand why you imprinted with someone who is not in our tribe but you did, and even if you did she still would not understand why all of the sudden you wanted to hang out and be by her side all the time. Kaylee is even more un- knowledgeable. She met Paul first ok, so she feels closer to him. But you are her soul mate Jared and deep inside her soul recognizes that even if her mind doesn't. You have to show her that you want her or she will be feeling this pain of loss and longing for no reason, it would be enough to drive her crazy." He chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

I will admit I hadn't thought it through that way and it made sense that she didn't see me that way because she didn't know I imprinted but her soul did which was a relief knowing that I would strike out if I tried.

"Ok Sam I'm sorry for um blowing up on you. I'll I guess uhm find Kaylee tomorrow and I guess ask her out or something. Your right I don't think I want to fight from this imprint anymore. Can I run by her house tonight though to make sure she's ok? I won't go in I'll just look."

Sam shook his head and I knew he was about to say no but then Emily came back into the room and said, "Sam do you remember how it felt when we tried to stay away from each other. It nearly killed us both. Let him just check on her. You know full well that he won't be able to sleep until he does."

Sam sighed and looked into her eyes with such love that it frightened me. Would Kaylee be able to make me change my mind whenever she felt like it just because she was my _imprint?_ No I wouldn't let myself become like that. I couldn't. Kaylee would be fine without me. Imprint or no imprint I am not getting involved in her life. And besides she is only here for vacation so it's not like even if I did act on the imprint she wouldn't stay. Sam was about to respond but I beat him to it.

"Never mind Sam, I think I will just go home. If I feel that feeling again maybe I'll check on her then, but I still rather not be tied down to her. Well got to go bye guys." I quickly ran out of the house. I didn't want Sam to give me any Alpha orders to make me go and check on her. I was dead set on ignoring this imprint. I believed I was strong enough to stay away from Kaylee and I was sure that I was also strong enough that only I would feel the pain from it.

**So there is the chapter. Hoped you all enjoyed it. Next Chapter will be full of Kaylee and the Cullens**

**There will also be some fun Kaylee and Paul scenes next chapter xD**

**Please Review it does make me write faster if I know what you think. If you have any comments or you have a sweet idea please share **

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	8. Ch 8 Something to live for

Ch. 8 Something to live for

**Carlisle's POV**

_**October 2**__**nd**___

_I have been watching Kaylee for the past half hour. She was still knocked out from the drugs but she seemed so peaceful. It was hard for me to image something so tragic would happen to someone so pure. Kaylee has had so much pain in her life and yet she has yet to taint it. She is still so nice and polite. She never wants to hurt your feelings, and she understands that what she has to give up because of her illness. She acts much like an old lady with the maturity she has. That is why I find watching her peacefully sleep so refreshing. She looks her age when she sleeps. Looks how a barely sixteen year old should look. When she is awake there have only been certain times when her carefree nature truly comes out._

_I believe that if Kaylee was not sick and would have never been sick she would have been a completely different person. I do believe she still would have been as sweet and pure but she would be lighthearted and untroubled. She most likely would act a lot like my daughter Alice. _

_Kaylee's condition is by far rare. I believe there are only twenty documented cases I have ever found on it. What her body is doing to itself is tragic. Her body is slowly killing itself. I do believe I have figured out what is happening. It is mostly her blood I believe that is turning on her._

_It is as if her bodies' white blood cells think that her red blood cells are viruses so they attack them and kill them. That is what causes Kaylee's unbelievable pain. I also told her when she asked how she would know that her days were almost over; I told her that she would start bruising. Since a bruise is when blood leaks into your skin I was fairly sure that would be the way to tell when she had only days or hours left. _

_Today Kaylee gave me a scare I was sure that she was going to die. At first I did believe she would be fine. Then she got worse. I can say it might have been my fault. I was afraid that her spleen might have ruptured which could happen due to her illness so I cut her open to check. The moment I made my second cut her heart gave out, she was flat- lining her body could not deal the fact that it was losing good blood due to the cut I made, on top of the bad blood it was destroying itself. Of course the whole house had heard the fact that she was flat-lining._

_I was glad it was Edward who rushed in to help. He had the most medical training plus ever since meeting Bella he did not look at blood the same way. He had started up the paddles and handed them over to me. I called clear and placed the paddles on her chest. Nothing had happened we recharged to a higher amount twice before thank god her heart came back to life. I sighed in relief I wasn't ready for Kaylee to leave. I do not believe I ever would be. It might have been the fact that I had brought compassion into this life as my gift or maybe it was just that fact that Kaylee had a way to make everyone like her. She was a very precious person. The world will be a less bright place without her in it. _

"Carlisle Kaylee's parents are pulling up I believe they might like to talk to you first." I sighed and out down my journal. I had kept my most personal thoughts in here and many before this one for years. I knew Edward had the power to read my mind but I also knew that he respected me enough to not want to read it. This was just a way for me to get my feelings on paper and to really analyze what I was feeling.

"Yes Esme, I am coming." I knew that her parents would not take this news well. While her mother had deluded herself into believe her child was just like any other sixteen year old her father and a sad sense of realization. It was strange to watch how they reacted my weekly and what seemed lately to be daily reports on their daughter. I still found it amazing that I have only been treating Kaylee for a little under a month. She had been coming up once a week from California to see me at the hospital I worked at before they moved here, and now I see her whenever is needed plus our weekly visits. I was beyond afraid that after today her time would be cut short.

I was no longer naïve enough to believe that she would live no matter what. I still had hope that she will, but seeing how well she handled having a death sentence made me want to be able to handle it well to. Edward believed we were both giving up. He said that he still without a doubt believed that Kaylee would live. He said he would find a way for her too.

I do think that Edward wants to help take care of her so much because she oddly looks like his mother. The same green eyes I remember seeing she was even the same size and she had the same brown wavy hair. That was most likely the reason he wanted to save her, because he couldn't save his mother he would save the person who looks so oddly like her.

I walked down the stairs to greet her parents.

**Kaylee's POV**

I woke up to a hazy vision and to someone holding my hand and snoring on my bed. I lifted my head and immediately felt dizzy and closed my eyes and let my head fall against the pillows. I looked around to try and figure out where I was but I didn't know. I knew it wasn't a hospital because it looked nothing like one. I was in some ones room. But who would have a room with medical equipment. Then it hit me. _Oh I was in Carlisle's house he told me he had a room like this._ I still thought it was weird but I was grateful because I did _not_ want to go to the hospital who knows who would see me there.

I looked down again at the man who was holding my hand. He looked familiar but his head was turned away from me. He had russet skin so I assumed it was either Paul or Jared. _Please let it be… who do I want it to be?_

I thought about that for a minute. The logical choose would be Paul because he helped me when I was puking my guts up but Jared showed up too, so that couldn't help me choose. I knew Paul longer but barely. I had kissed Paul. But I also wanted nothing more than to kiss Jared. I sighed and closed my eyes. Boy drama was far more stressful than dying was any day.

Just as I sighed the mystery man lifted his eyes to mine. I looked into the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen. I hadn't realized how much I missed Paul until this moment.

"Hey sleepy head." Was all he said, I gave him my best smile under the current conditions and said "Hey look who's talking." He smiled at that and then lighted squeezed my hand.

"How are you feeling?" I shrugged to be honest I felt all drugged up. His eyes tightened a fraction. "Don't lie to me Kaylee. I know you're sick. I know it's bad but what I don't know is how bad." I sucked in a sharp breath I wasn't ready to tell Paul yet. I wasn't ready for the pity in his eyes.

I cleared my throat and gave him the truth not all of it but what I was ready to give. "Yea I am sick, but I'm fine right now, ok no worries. I'm fine." I repeated when I saw how he was doubting what I was saying.

"Are you ever going to fricken tell me Kaylee? Or do I have to go insane waiting?" His voice wasn't rude just stern. I know he had every right in the world to feel the way he did, but that didn't change the fact that I still didn't trust him not to treat me differently once he told me.

"Paul, can I ask you something?" His eyes went a tad bit wider but other than that he just nodded and said, "As long as this isn't some lame way of you trying to change the subject."

I smiled at that knowing that I was somewhat doing that. "No, not really anyway, I just wanted to ask you why do you care so much?"

I saw how his eyebrows scrunched up as if he was trying to solve a really hard math problem in his head. Then like a flick of a switch the Paul that I knew was back. He smiled his very cocky grin and me. "What?" I was so taken aback by the sudden mood change I couldn't help but ask.

"You really want to know why I care?" he asked I shook my head yes. I knew it wasn't because he loved me because he promised me that we wouldn't fall for me, but I also knew it wouldn't be much better.

"I care so much Kaylee, because after I dropped you off after our date that you felt the need to pass out on, I mean if I was boring you, you should have said something." I went to protest, but he shushed me, "Anyways after I put you in your bed and kissed you goodnight your dad told me why you got sick." I knew my face must have paled because my dad _promised!_ Me he wouldn't tell anyone and here he goes telling the one person that I finally made friends with that I was going to die.

"Earth to Kaylee, stop freaking out, he didn't tell me the big huge secret that you still have yet to tell me, but he did tell me that I should not be your friend if I can't handle pain and loss. He also said that I would have some of the best days of my life with you and some of the worst. I still don't really understand what he means but I know that when you can finally tell me your secret that I will. I can also promise you Kaylee that I will not run away from you. You are one of the only girls who don't run away when I lose my temper, and your just plain interesting, I am your friend Kaylee. I want you to be able to trust me. I know you can't yet but I am going to prove to you that you can because Kaylee I have gone through pain, I know what it is like I know that there is a reason that we are in each other's life. Please trust me." Paul took a deep breath and closed his eyes, most likely waiting for my reply.

I have never heard him say so much at one time. It took me off guard. He was the gorgeous man, and yes Paul is by far a man. Here is this man who not only knows that I am sick but he knows that it is worse than that. I wouldn't doubt if he hadn't already guessed my secret. It wouldn't shock me at all if he had. I do believe that after holding my hair while I puke and my dad told me that he was there trying to bring me soup and now he was here holding my hand, I do believe he deserved to know. Not right now, because I wasn't ready, but soon.

I looked at Paul, and I placed my hand that he wasn't holding on his cheek and made him look at me. Once our eyes met again I said in a rather rushed voice, "I really do want to trust you Paul, believe me I do. I am actually beginning to. I just can't yet. Give me some time. I know it won't take too long, but can you please just wait a little while longer before giving up on me. I am just not ready yet." I felt the tears on my cheeks and I knew I probably looked pathetic but I couldn't help it. I was fragile. As much as I hate it when my father says that, I knew it was true.

"Please don't cry Kays I didn't mean to make you cry." I could tell Paul was taken aback by my tears.

"I'm s-sorry, I just don't want you to give up on me. So many people give up on me." I sobbed. I couldn't seem to stop. Paul just leaned forward and held me. After what seemed like forever I cried myself out. Once I pulled back I accepted to see Paul's eyes closed off and ready to tell me he was going away and that he had enough of me.

But to my utter surprise he looked at me with concern, "Kays, babe I would never give up on you. Never ok. I will be here for you always." He kissed my forehead then and right at that moment my dad walked in. _Great timing dad, really great._ Paul heard him clear his throat and tell him he needed to be alone with me. Paul looked at me gave a me quick hug and said that he would come back tomorrow afternoon because he had school in the morning.

My dad sat down in the chair that Paul had just gotten out of. He didn't move to hold my hand like he usually did when I was sick he just looked down at the bed. I wanted him to say something but I was too scared of what he might say to break the silence. Finally after a long silence he looked up at me and I saw that his eyes were rimmed red and he had bags under them too.

"Dad what's the matter, I'm fine." I tried to make my voice sound light, but we both knew what this episode meant. It meant my time was almost over, it meant that sooner rather than later I would have to tell Paul my secret, and I would have to say goodbye to my mom and dad. "I'm sorry dad." I looked away and knew that I was about to start crying again.

My dad quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it, "Hunny you have nothing and I mean nothing to be sorry for." When I didn't look at him he squeezed my hand again. "Kaylee please look at me." I did as I was told.

"Kaylee I love you so much I know you know that. I also know that we both understand that we need to start thinking about certain less pleasant things. I do believe that a father should never have to bury his daughter, but I still believe that you will be ok, but I know that you don't believe that, so Kaylee I know you have asked this of us before and we have always said no." He took in a raspy breath, I knew my dad was at terms with me dying but I never thought he would be this open about it. It was not like him at all. I guess I really did come close to dying this time.

"I would like to know if you still wanted to plan your f-f-f-fun-aral." It took all his will power to say it I know it did. And even when he did say it, it came out as a stuttered whisper. He was right this was one thing I wanted to do. I wanted to know what it would look like when I was dead. I don't know why but it eased some of the pain of dying.

I gripped both of my small hands to hold on to my dad's big one and we locked eyes. I saw the unshed tears in his eyes like I was sure he saw them in mine, "Dad it would mean the world to me if I could do this, I don't want you and mom to worry about this… What's wrong dad?" When I mentioned mom my dad's faced turned worried.

"It's just that your mother did not take you flat lining very well." Huh what I flat lined?

"What are you talking about dad?" Horror passed through my dad's eyes. "No one told you what happened Kaylee?" I shook my head no. I hadn't yet to see anyone other than Paul and my dad.

"Dad what happened to me? How bad was it?" My dad pulled in a ragged breath, I knew he hadn't planned on telling me this and I also knew he was not happy that he had to. But just as he was about to begin he was saved by the bell well sort of. He was saved by Carlisle walking in. He smiled calmly down at my father and I and went to check my machines.

Once he was done he looked from me to my father, I knew my dad didn't want to explain what happened to me so I decided I would make life easier for him, it was of course the least I could do. I was a constant pain for him I knew that. So I cleared my throat and looked right at Carlisle and said,

"What on Earth happened to me today?" Carlisle looked confused then a very professional look came to him.

"Kaylee you have been in what I call a recovery coma for six days." I was shocked, _six days_ was all that kept swimming around in my mind. I was "sleeping" for six whole freaking days! No wonder Paul and my dad looked so relieved to see me awake.

"Um ok, that's not good." Was all I could say, Carlisle just looked down and me and smiled, "It could have been worse, many patients go through what you did. It just helps your body heal if you are sleeping." I just nodded because it made sense but I was still scared.

"How come my body needed so much time, what happened before that?" I knew my dad was uncomfortable but he stayed where he was with his had lightly holding mine, trying to give me the message that he was fine, when I knew better. I looked up at Carlisle and he just look at my machines again. Then he said in a hushed voice that I knew was hiding emotions, he said,

"We were trying to make sure your spleen did not rupture so we were forced to cut you open, which we have done before, but I should have waited or did… anyways not the point, your body did not take losing more blood well, which caused it to fail. You flat-lined and yes Kaylee before you ask you were _legally _dead for maybe a minute or two. We got your heart restarted though and here you are. I won't lie I am not sure why your body took so long to repair itself. Even with your sickness that should not have happened. I also want you to know that you have been having problems breathing so if you feel any sharp pains in your chest is sure to let me know. But since you're awake I will let you leave tomorrow afternoon."

I placed my head back down on my pillow and closed my eyes. So not even the genius I call Carlisle knows what is wrong with me. Great now I really am doomed. I told my dad and Carlisle I was still tired and I wanted to sleep, I know Carlisle didn't believe me but my dad had no reason too. Once my dad left Carlisle turned to me and said, "I know you wish that I would have let you die, but I could not. I have promised not only you and your family that I would do my best to save you but I promised myself, and I hardly ever break a promise. I will save you Kaylee. I will admit I am not sure how to yet but I will. Your days are not so short that I have no time. There is always time."

"I am sick of all the pain and heartache that comes with being me." I said in a sad voice that shocked me I am usually ok with living and dying but today I learned how close I really did come to finally seeing the end. To say that I wasn't a little upset about being alive would be lying.

"I think you need to grow up and learn that maybe some people want to see you live." At first because I had my eyes closed I thought Carlisle said that to me and I was stunned but I recognized that voice.

"Always so polite Edward." I joked.

"Well you are depressing for the both of us. I needed to somehow get you out of that mindset. Plus I know you "say" you want to sleep but I have someone who will most likely cheer you up." I opened my eyes to see the smallest girl ever. She looked like a pixie she moved like a pixie and she even acted like a pixie. I knew I was rude from staring but on top of being a fricken pixie she was beautiful just like Carlisle and Edward,

"You must be Alice?" I asked. She squealed and grinned.

"How did you know it was me? I mean we have never met and _you're_ not physic soo."

"_ALICE!"_ Edward hissed

"What is your problem Edward I was just saying I find it awesome how she just figured out who I am." She grinned up at me for she was sitting in the chair Indian style. "Yup I am Alice and I am very upset that it took a near death experience for you to meet me. Very upset indeed." I would have been concerned if she wasn't still smiling.

"Um Alice I hate to be rude, by why on Earth would you want to meet a dying chick so bad?" She wrinkled her nose at that,

"Well because I know that you and I are going to be best friends, and I don't believe that you are going to die. If you are anything like what Edward and Carlisle have told me and I know you are, then you and I are going to get along just great." After that she ushered the boys out of the room and pulled out some fashion magazines. I asked her what she was doing but she just said,

"You need a new style if you are even thinking about going on a date with that hot wolf to be that was visiting you."

"Um wolf to be?" I asked her completely confused.

"Oh nothing, I bet you will learn soon enough, even though I believe you can do better than that mutt to be. But not my business I know. So tell me Kaylee who do you want me to make you into?"

That is how we spent the whole night. We looked through so many magazines that I lost count she even made Carlisle take out my IV so I could try on some of her clothes. I was wrong Alice was only slightly shorter than me ok four inches shorter but still not that bad. Her pants would never have fit me, but that was fine by me because she said that she would never put me in pants when I asked her why and she said,

"Pants are for people who are either too fat to show their legs or when you are not planning on going out on a date, or ever planning on seeing a guy." I protested and said that she was wearing pants and she just laughed

"What so you can wear pants but I can't?" I whined.

"Yes as a matter of fact I can. You have wicked legs you should want to show them off, plus these are jeggings so technically they aren't really pants but a funky type of leggings." I laughed at that because not only was it crazy it was sort of true.

I was having so much fun that I didn't even realize it was morning until Edward knocked on the door and asked if we were descent. When Alice said yup he told me that he came up here to tell Alice that she needed to get ready for school and that knowing Alice if she didn't start now she would never leave on time. I felt terrible for keeping her up all night but she didn't seem tired at all.

"Alice I am so sorry for keeping you up all night. I mean granted you don't look or seem tired but I feel bad all the same. I mean I loved the company and your right me and you do get along better than almost anyone else but I am sorry for keeping you up." I rambled my way through my sentence. Alice was strange when it came to certain things. She was almost like a child in many ways. You had to be careful with her feelings, but they never actually stayed hurt for long.

"Oh shush Kaylee its fine I sleep a lot yesterday morning so not big deal. School is boring so if I get tired I'll take a nap." I laughed at that and they said their goodbyes with Alice's giving me a big hug and promising me that when she got back that she would make me look amazing for Paul and she would introduce me to the rest of her overly large family.

I smiled when I thought about how much fun I had last night, and then I sighed thinking about how it couldn't last. I reached for my cell phone that was sitting on the bedside table and called my mom knowing that she was always up before six. It rang once then twice than it just disconnected. I figured either one of us most have lost service so I tried again and again. When the same thing kept happening I got worried and annoying I really didn't want to wake my dad so I decided that it could wait for a more decent hour.

I sighed and rolled over thinking about what Alice was going to make me look like for Paul. Sure he didn't really asked me out on a date but he was coming back to see me so that was something. And I knew I had not looked all that hot the last few times he has seen me so I wanted to look nice for him. It was the least I could do.

**So I planned on waiting another chapter or two before telling you guys what was wrong with her. But I just couldn't. I felt like you guys have waited enough.**

**So I know I am really random with my updates so I am sorry for that but as much as I would like to say that will change, I know me and my schedule so no promises.**

**What I can promise you though is either a really interesting date with Paul. (: **

**Oh and don't worry Jared will be in the next one too. **

**Anyways sorry for the long A/N but had to do it. **

**SO please like always Review… it would make my day plus it might just make another chapter appear :P **


	9. Ch 9 Finding What Is Right

Ch. 9 Finding What Is Right

**Jared's POV**

Sam said I had been walking around like a zombie, and I couldn't blame him. Between Kaylee being in a coma and the lack of sleep from patrols and work I was starting to feel half dead myself. I couldn't find the will power to want to do anything knowing that I could not visit Kaylee. It would have been seen as strange. I know that the leeches that were treating her would have understood because of the imprinting, but how would her parents react? They would have thought I was a stalker or a freak. Neither of which would have been good for me.

If there was one thing that could have made not seeing Kaylee worse it was the fact that Paul was there. Paul was a loud to see Kaylee, my Kaylee. He was a loud to hold her hand and wait for her to wake up. Paul was a loud to do all of these things when I was forced to wait and watch from the woods. Which is a whole lot easier said than done. When realized that I had felt her heart flat-line I was pretty sure part of me died. I don't understand what is wrong with her because even with the leeches understanding the imprint they will not tell me anything. The father figure one says that it is not his right to tell me. Which I think is bullshit. I want to know if I can save her or not. Edward I think his name is just gives me a weird look. It is not like he is jealous look but I believe that since according to the doctor vamp Edward is helping him so he must have taken some interest in her life and does not want me to interfere.

But I don't care. It has been almost a week and she just woke up earlier today. I wanted to go see her when her dad wasn't there but they would not let me anywhere near their property. They said that they were just following the treaty. When I asked why Paul was aloud they simply said because he was not a wolf yet. That had me fuming. The ache that the imprinting caused had become so unbearable that I could barely make myself leave my bed every morning. Sam had only given me disapproving looks as well. I knew that he refused to help me out anymore because he firmly believed that I deserved to be punished if I ignored the imprint. Not just because it was wrong of me to do that but because he knew that Kaylee was hurting because of that.

That being said is most likely the only reason why I am now standing outside of her house in the pouring rain. She had only been home for a few hours but I could not wait anymore. I had to see her. I had to know if she was ok. It would kill me if I did not find out anytime soon. Also I wanted to plainly see her. The wolf inside of me was beginning me to claim her as my mate. Sam did talk to me about that when I finally brought it to his attention. He said that the longer I am away from Kaylee the stronger the need to claim her as mine would be. I asked him what he meant he and bluntly said,

"_Sex Jared. You need to sleep with her to claim her, your wolf will tell you what to do from there. That is all I am going to tell you." _

I was shocked that, that is what it meant. I mean I wanted nothing more than too make love to Kaylee, and I was ok for her to call it that. _Making love_, because with her that is what it would be. It would be full of love, because I have come to the terms with the fact that even though I barely knew her I loved her. Undoubtedly. She was my world, and even though I had yet to make a real attempt to be a part of her life I would start with today. I think that the fact that she almost died and I had almost lost my only chance with my soul mate made me realize how selfish and immature I had been treating this whole imprinting thing. That is why I planned on doing some serious damage control starting now. I knew that Paul had the whole I meet her first and I have been there for her the last couple of weeks thing going for him, but I had a second weapon. She also already loved me. The question now was if she was willing to acknowledge that fact or not.

**Kaylee's POV**

I had only been home for a few short minutes when I realized something was wrong. My mother's things were gone. Everything from her clothes to her makeup, there was nothing left to prove that she had ever lived her other than the few pictures that we have gotten around to putting out. One of the family pictures was lying in a mess of glass shards. The picture frame it was in was beyond repair. I knew before I asked what was wrong.

"Daddy… Where's mom?" I knew it was stupid to ask but I needed to hear it said to make it real. By the heartbreak in his eyes I knew that saying it out loud would make it real for him too.

"She left baby girl. She said she could not handle watching you slowly die each day. She said she loves you but it is for the best if she stays with her girlfriend for a while." I knew what this meant. My mom was leaving my dad to deal with me until I died then she would come back. I felt my heart shatter. I knew my mom had a hard time dealing with what was wrong with me but I loved her for it. I loved how she just wished I was ok and that she would be weird enough to pretend. I never thought that she would abandon me in my last few weeks or months of life. It gave me a different insight into her character.

"She isn't coming back is she dad? It is just you and me now isn't it?" My dad gave me a one armed hug while staring at the broken picture at the ground instead of meeting my eyes.

"She loves you kiddo, she will come backs she just needs time to cope. I promise you." I understood what he was not saying but trying to imply. He was hoping that she would get her act together before it was too late. He was trying to convince me and himself that she would be back. He needed to believe in that and I could not look down on to him for that. I loved my father to much to crush his hopes. He was going to lose me in no time at all and now he lost the love of his life, because of me. I was a curse on legs.

"I think I am going to lie down for a while dad, ok?" He just nodded no doubt he was glad for this time to be alone. I felt so bad for him. I was used to people leaving because of me he wasn't. Sure I was depressed about my mom but I was not as bent out of shape as he was.

I crawled into bed and tried to sleep but I couldn't. Carlisle had been concerned about how I was having problems breathing lately. I told him that I just always had this empty and sinking feeling in my gut and chest. As soon as I told him that he seemed to know what was wrong but he didn't say anything at least not to me. Edward had asked me about Paul after that. Wanted to know how much I knew about him and if he shook a lot. But I assumed by the fact that they let him visit me while I was unconscious that they at least did not mind him. So I didn't really understand his concern for him. The moment I mentioned that the only other boy/ man I had met was Jared his whole attitude changed.

He told me to stay away from him, that he used woman just like Paul did. I couldn't really see that. I mean they both were extremely good looking but they were both so nice and kind to me they did not strike me as the type of guys to just hit it and ditch it. I mean at least not Paul. No guy who just wanted sex would go through all he has with me. Then there was Jared. I wanted to believe Jared was a good guy because thinking about him with other girls hurt my heart. I knew that if Jared would give me the time of day it would not take me long to fall head of heels for him. I felt bad because Paul had done everything right so far and he did come see me again before he went to school and told me that tonight we would go on a date. So thinking that I would for some reason still pick Jared over him seemed so heartless. I mean Jared would never care about me so I had nothing to worry about and plus I was starting too really like Paul. I was even thinking about telling him my secret within the next few days. I knew the news would get out within the next few weeks anyways with my mom living so I might as well tell him rather than him just finding out from some random person.

I was trying to think about where Paul would take me, I knew he promised my dad something not far away and totally safe so that had to limit it to only a few things. To say I was confused would not even be the beginning of it. When I thought about kissing Paul again I got another twinge in my heart like I did every time he kissed me at the Cullens house. It was not painful just shocking and annoying. It made me feel like I was doing something so very wrong. It made me wants to push Paul away and tell him never to touch me again, but of course I couldn't do that. I did like Paul at least my mind did but my body seemed to have a different idea of who I should like and who I should be kissing. I filed that feeling away, blaming it on a mix of the medication I was on now and just plain being sick. I did not have this feeling before I got sick. Actually the last time I felt good about Paul touching me was the night of the bonfire. I still felt I little iffy about it but mostly because I was knew to the whole dating thing. So then it must have been nerves and now maybe it was the same thing?

I heard a knocking at the door and I immediately looked at my clock to realize I had been sleeping for a few hours. You would think that after sleeping for almost six days straight that I would stop being tired, but I guess that is just one of the perks of being sick. I went downstairs hoping that maybe it would be my mom. I knew it was not Paul because he promised to call when he was about to leave and he said around six and it was barely three. So I knew that I had plenty of time to get ready before he came. The person at the door knocked again and I started getting butterflies in my stomach and I had no idea why. I called a "I'm coming" and finally reached the door and opened it.

**Jared's POV**

She opened the door and I almost wept, she was just as beautiful as the last time I fully saw her. Even though then she was puking her guts out it didn't matter she was stunning and she was mine. I was fool to think that I did not want her. How could anyone not want her? She was perfect. From the way her eyes were teardrop shaped to the way you could read every emotion in them. To how her lips were slightly off balance her top one was a bit fuller than the bottom. She was standing there all doe-eyed just staring at me as if she could not believe that I was actually here, the funny thing was that I was thinking the same thing about her.

I reached out and brushed the back of my hand against her cheek and her eyes slowly dropped closed. She murmured in happiness by my simply touch my wolf and I were both ecstatic by the noise. My want to claim her in that moment is what knocked my back into my right mind before I did something stupid like attack her. I pulled my hand away and to my liking she frowned when my hand left her face.

"How are you feeling?" I had finally managed to get out and speak to her. It seems like forever since I last spoke to her and in reality it had been almost that long.

"I've been better and worse. I'll live." I don't know if I imagined her wince when she said that but for now I ignored it. "How about you stranger? I thought that maybe you would come back before now to see me but I guess I was wrong?" I was shocked about how forward she was being with me, she did not seem the type, but by the look in her eyes I could tell that he had missed me as well. Sam was right I was hurting her too by staying away. I scolded myself promising to never hurt her again no matter what.

"Well I would have come by earlier but the talk around town is you are Paul's new arm candy. I didn't want to interfere with that." It killed me to say it, it really did, but it needed to be said, and by the way her noised crinkled I knew that she did not like me thinking that.

"Well maybe if you made your move first we would not have this problem huh?" She was extremely close to me now, she was glaring right at me letting me know that she did not like me blaming her for this.

"I guess you are just going to have to tell Paul that you are sorry but you are with me now and cannot hang out with him anymore." By this point I was fuming but shockingly I was not shaking at all.

Her eyes widened a little bit by what I said but she still held her ground. "And why would I tell a perfectly nice guy that? You have yet to prove that you are worth my time and Paul has. He has been there for me and you haven't."

I was shaking now because of that. "I was there just because you did not see me doesn't mean I wasn't there!" I realized I was on the verge of yelling so I took my voice down a bit; I did not want to scare her away or make her dad come out and banish me. I had her so close to being mine I could not and would not ruin it now. "Kaylee I need you to know that I care about you and I know that I have done a shitty job showing you that, and I know that it might be too late, but I am just asking you to give me a chance to really get to know you. I will never hurt you. I just want a chance to make you happy."

She did not say anything for a while then she whispered, "I promised Paul…." I interrupted my planting my lips onto hers it was almost violent, almost. The last word I wanted coming from her lips was Paul. I kissed gently at first then I brushed my tongue against her bottom lip beginning for entrance, then the moment my tongue touched her everything changed. I lost all control. I pushed her against the door frame. My tongue was exploring every part of her mouth and neck and hers was doing the same. My hands held steady and her hips and lower back. I had enough of a right mind not to let them drop to where they really wanted to go. I knew that if I let my lust take over my hands would no longer be above her clothing they would be under her shirt seeking out her two perfect pink peaks. After thinking that I had to pull away, the bulge in my pants was telling me that I had, had enough for now if I kept going I would cross boundaries that were not ready to be crossed. I took a few steps away from Kaylee even though it killed me to do so.

Kaylee was panting for breath and was flushed I knew that he father could not see her or I in the state we were in. I closed my eyes trying to keep my composer. When I heard her sigh and lean once more but fair more casually this time against the door frame I opened my eyes to look at her.

"That was unexpected but thank you so much Jared, I don't know what you did but you have made me feel better than I have in a long time. You are like the best drug for me that I have ever found." The way she said it was weird. I knew she meant it and that she was not lying. I guess that I would have to just know what was wrong with her before I could understand why that statement meant so much to her. She went to kiss me again and it killed me to but I had to push her gently away. I held on to her arms still and kissed her on both of her cheeks and her nose then her forehead.

"It is not that I do not want to kiss you believe it will never be that but other than that one slip up I just had I want to get to know you before we start getting physical. It is the right thing to do plus I doubt your dad would like you kissing a stranger." Something in her eyes told me that her dad might just not care anymore. That worried me, I knew her mom had left her it was all over are small town. She needed a strong father figure right now, even more so if she really was as sick as everyone was seeming to make me think she was.

"I guess I can wait till I get to know you better. That is fair and all." She gave me a wicked smile and then kissed me lightly on the side of my mouth, I moaned. I was so embarrassed Jared Mathews does not moan because of some girl. Kaylee just smirked glad that she could get a reaction out of me. She then looked at the clock on her phone and frowned. She then shoved it back into her pocket.

"Is everything alright?" I was so concerned. She winced a little bit and I feared that she was not feeling good again. "Are you ok? Do you need to sit down, ice maybe? Tell me what I can do to make you feel better." At that she just laughed at me. I frowned. "What? I just want to take care of you. You've been sick and I want to help make you get better." At that she just laughed some more. "Fine I guess I won't help."

"Awe Jared wait." She grabbed my hand, "If you could help I would let you. I was making that face because in a hour or so Paul will be coming over and prior to you showing up I was excited to go on my date with him, but now, I am assuming you want to be with me? Or something like that right?" I just nodded not liking the fact that she was implying she was about to go out on a date with Paul. "Well now I have to tell him that I cannot see him anymore because of you. I mean I still want to be his friend, but Jared I have no idea what it is but I feel so close to you. All I want and have wanted since the day you helped me sneak in my own house, was you. Is that creepy? It's creepy right?"

I knew that I had to have the dorkiest smile on my face but I could not help it she was telling me that she loved me too, not that she knew that yet but she was beginning to acknowledge it and that was just about as much as I had been doing lately, "Not creepy at all. I know how you feel. But about Paul can't you just call him and tell him. I don't like the idea of you going out on a date with him."

She glared at me for that one I guess I was being too protective to soon. "I can go hang out with him Jared. We are not dating. Plus I still have yet to forgive you for how you looked at me at the bonfire. That was just rude. I promise I will tell Paul about us. If there is an us but I still want to be his friend if he will let me. We have been really close over the last few weeks. I don't want to lose him all the way can't you understand that?" I knew that it made me mad but I also knew it was too soon to be asking her to give him up or anyone up for me.

"I'm sorry. You're right. Have fun tonight. I have to work soon so I have to get going can I call you in the morning?" She smiled at that

"Sure of course you can Jared. I will be looking forward to it." We said our goodbyes and I gave her a light and quick kiss.

**I know I promised the date scene but it just seemed not to flow in this chapter so the next one will have it. It is going to be crazy. Sorry for the long time between updates… life happened lol.**

**R&R **


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